


Diamond Shards

by goddess_asutacia



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Mystery, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22214665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_asutacia/pseuds/goddess_asutacia
Summary: They say eyes are the mirror of the soul. That through them, you can tell a person's true intentions and feelings. He's always wondered if it was true. If she had been able to tell, had been able to see how much his soul shined like the brightest diamonds whenever she was near; if his eyes had truly been capable of showing her how much he loved her. Perhaps not, because years later, as he watches her walk through the door, chestnut hair flowing in her wake just as beautifully as he remembered, he doubts she'll be able to look into his eyes and see the tiny shards of his soul she left behind all those years ago. AU.
Relationships: Eugeo & Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito & Alice Zuberg | Alice Synthesis Thirty, Eugeo/Alice Zuberg | Alice Synthesis Thirty, Kirigaya Kazuto | Kirito/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna, Konno Yuuki | Yuuki & Yuuki Asuna | Asuna & Asada Shino | Sinon
Comments: 38
Kudos: 66





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone and welcome! I'm really sorry if this note turns out to be a bit long, but I wanted to point out a few things before you start reading, and I would really appreciate it if you read it until the end <3  
> So, first of all, this is an AU! Which means you'll know the characters and their traits, but you won't be familiar with the universe in which the story takes place. I've come up with a completely different plot that I truly like and have given much thought to.  
> On another note, I just wanted to point out that in this AU, there'll be professions that I am not completely familiar with. I've done some research, but I can't guarantee that I'll be able to do them justice xD That being said, please understand that there's certainly going to be mistakes in the way I describe some things regarding said professions, which I hope you forgive :p Also, since I don't live in Japan, it's even harder to be completely sure how things work there, so I've decided to use some info from my own country and how things work here, as well. Don't forget that this is a work of fiction, so things are not going to be 100% like reality!  
> Those were the main points I wanted to mention right now, at the beginning, so that you'll keep them in mind ;) Without further ado, I'll stop bothering you so you can finally start reading! I truly hope you guys like it as much as I do! Please, don't hold back and let me know what you think! Feedback is much appreciated <3  
> Enjoy~

As he steps out of the court, an autumn breeze gently blows through his dark hair, caressing his cheeks with a gentle, yet cold, kiss. He shivers out of reflex and tugs at his scarf, pulling it up by an inch so it covered a bit more of his chin. November had stormed in mercilessly, bringing with it the drop in temperature and the warm clothes. Even though it would most likely start snowing in December, that seemed like a faraway reality, as the streets were still covered in leaves, shielding the earth in a blanket of reds and browns and yellows that painted the scenery in the most beautiful of ways.

Kazuto Kirigaya takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes for a brief instant, taking in the sounds coming from the busy streets ahead of him. Fall used to be one of his favorite times of year. He wonders, for a moment, what had changed that. What had made him start disliking the season, as if he had a personal vendetta against it. Perhaps it was the fact that he couldn’t find in it the beauty that he once did, years ago. Or maybe it was because, every time he looked at the orange-brownish leaves, it would always remind him of an hair color he didn't want to remember...

He shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts. It truly wasn’t the best time to be thinking about that. With a small sigh, he opens his eyes and finally starts stepping down the stairs of the court, leading to the streets bellow.

Today had been a victory for him and his client. Even though it was a hard fight, he was able to save the woman from all the horrible accusations her husband had put her in trial for. As society would have it, he was an influential man who liked to think he could control the justice system however he pleased. That was one of the main reasons Kazuto had decided to become an attorney; to defend the helpless against the oppression from those who had power.

He still remembers the first time the middle-aged woman stepped inside of his office. She was scared, and lost and in need of someone to _believe_ in her. Yet, no one did. No one except for him, that is. He sat her down and listened attentively to every detail of the story she had to tell, living it as if it were his own. He could feel the pain in her voice, the fear in her eyes and the nervousness in her hands. Everything about her begged for help, and when she asked him if he would take her case, he couldn’t find it in himself to turn her down.

And finally today, he could see all the effort he had put into her case blossom right in front of him. As the judge announced she was free of all charges, the woman could barely contain her tears of joy. She had thanked Kazuto over and over again, causing him to become a flustered mess and not know how to properly react. He told her it was nothing, and that he was glad he’d been able to help her clear her name.

A small smile graced his lips at the memories, just as he reached the end of the stairs. With a pensive look on his face, he watched as his hot breath collided with the cold air, curling in front of him. As such, he didn’t notice the duo approaching him until both of them had practically jumped in front of him.

“Congratulations!” they both shout in unison, startling him to no end. He almost trips on his own feet as he swings his briefcase blindly, his heart jumping out of his chest.

“What the-” he practically screams at his two friends, his eyes widening as he finally realizes who it was that had blocked his path, almost giving him a heart attack.

Meanwhile, Eugeo and Alice are practically hunched over with laughter, trying to explain to him through countless giggles how priceless his face had been just then. He huffs in frustration at first, watching them lose their breaths and wipe the tears that start to gather at the corners of their eyes. Eventually, though, he starts succumbing as well, his lips twitching as they beg to crack a smile that he tries his hardest to suppress.

He takes a closer look at his two best friends, whom he had no idea would be surprising him today. Alice was wearing a white shirt tucked into a dark blue pencil skirt, heels of the same color gracing her feet. Over said outfit, to keep her warm, was a brown trench coat that he knew to be her favorite. Her hair was tied down in its usual braid, some of the blond locks free from their confines to frame her face, highlighting her blue eyes in the process. Eugeo was wearing a dark blue suit, the color almost matching that of Alice’s skirt, and a grey overcoat. Around his neck was a light blue tie that Kazuto very clearly remembers getting him for his birthday. His hair was in its usual styling, and his green eyes shone with amusement.

Kazuto spares a single glance at his own outfit, a black suit along with a grey tie, both hidden away by his own black overcoat and dark brown scarf, doing their best to shield him from the cold autumn wind. A memory flashes in his mind for a second, of Eugeo scolding him and telling him to stop wearing so much black or people might get the wrong idea. At last, he finally lets out a small chuckle.

“Ha-ha, very funny guys, almost making me fall in the middle of the street.” he pretends to scold them, but it’s obvious that he’s far from being mad at them.

“Sorry, sorry, we didn’t know you’d be so startled by us…” Eugeo apologizes as he finally pulls himself together, an apologetic grin on his face. Kazuto can’t help but smile more at this; it was so typical of Eugeo to be sorry for things that other people weren’t truly mad about.

“Then again, you looked like you were spacing out,” Alice pipes in, brushing some strands away from her face and tucking them behind her ear, “That’s not like you at all, I thought you’d be the one to scare us.”

“Aaaah, yeah… I guess I was just thinking about everything...” the black haired man mumbles, his eyes shifting to the side to stare at a faraway tree, a pensive expression settling on his face once again. Alice and Eugeo share knowing looks with each other, before nodding simultaneously and walking to each of Kazuto’s sides.

“Anyway! You’ve won today, I can’t believe you did it!” Alice exclaims happily as she takes a hold of his right arm, managing to snap him out of his thoughts. He looks down at her and smiles, his eyes glinting with resolve.

“Yeah, we’re really proud of you! Standing up to the CEO of one of the largest companies in Tokyo must’ve taken a lot of guts.” Eugeo adds in, patting Kazuto’s left shoulder with a proud look on his face.

“Thank you, guys, really… This means a lot.” Kazuto says sincerely, smiling at the two.

“You're welcome,” Alice elbows him playfully, her blue eyes twinkling with mischief, “Buuut, you _do_ know that we didn’t just come here to congratulate you, right? We could never let a victory like this pass by without actually celebrating!”

“W-what?” he stutters out.

“Why, of course, Kirito, we can’t pass up this chance!” Eugeo joins in, grabbing Kazuto’s arm and dragging him further away from the court.

“Oi, I can’t believe you still call me that…” he huffed under his breath while being pulled in whatever direction the duo decided to take him.

“It’s your own fault for going by that nickname for so many years… I can still hear the whispers of the girls in the hallways of our old high school: ‘Omg, Kirito’s so cool’ and ‘he’s the best, did you know he won another tournament?’,” Eugeo mocks a bit, trying to copy the girls’ voices, “I swear it was the first time I’ve ever heard of a guy being popular for excelling at video-games...”

“And, of course, as your best friends, we can never let your legacy die! We’ll be here to carry it on forever more!” the blonde woman vows dramatically, placing her right hand over her chest.

He sighs and shakes his head at their antics, chuckling a bit. He couldn’t find it in himself to tell them that, every time they called him by that nickname, another voice, beautiful and melodic, rang in his head, calling out to him as well. Aside from the two of them and back in their high school days, that was the only other person he loved hearing the nickname from.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I’m pretty sure you guys just _love_ mocking me” he shoots back, rolling his eyes.

“How could we ever pass up the opportunity to do so?” Alice grins good-naturedly, making the two men laugh as she leads the way.

* * *

As it turns out, Eugeo and Alice decided to treat him to lunch on one of their favorite restaurants, a fancy little establishment located in the heart of Tokyo. How they got there comes as a blur to Kazuto, since he’d been completely immersed in their conversation through the way.

“I can’t recall the last time we came here…” Kazuto mumbles as he sits down at the table the waiter guided them to, “And I can’t believe you guys made a reservation. You didn’t even know if I was going to win.” He points out with narrowed eyes, the two blonds trying to look innocent.

“Hey, of course you were going to win! We knew you would.” Eugeo says confidently.

“And even if you didn’t, there’s nothing better to cheer someone up than good food!” Alice adds in with a smile of her own, as the restaurant’s scent drafts through the air.

Kazuto can’t help but smile at them both. He truly couldn’t have asked for better friends than them; they’d always been supportive of him, and they’d been by his side through the ups and downs in his life. He would do anything for them, and he’s sure they felt the same towards him. 

As Eugeo and Alice start looking through their menus, commenting on every new dish they came upon and how they didn’t know which to choose from because they wanted to try everything, he tones out from their conversation for a few moments to take in everything new from the place. Ever since they’d last been there, the restaurant had gone through some changes in its interior design. The main colors changed from red and white to brown and yellow, while the flooring had gone from red carpeting to a fine wood texture. Heck, even the antique chandeliers had given place to fabric drum pendant lights. Overall, they had gone for a more modern design, which he didn’t dislike.

They were sitting at a table relatively close to the entrance of the restaurant; Kazuto was facing the door, with Eugeo to his left and Alice across from him. There was a small bar to his right, where he could see some waiters preparing drinks and appetizers, before taking them to the clients. From his spot he could also see the host station, close to the door, as well as the employee standing behind it, greeting the people that came in and guiding them to their respective tables. The restaurant was filling in, little by little as lunch time approached.

“So, what are you going to eat, Kirito?” Eugeo calls out to him, noticing that he hadn’t touched his menu yet.

“Ah, um…” he quickly grabs it and selects a random page, blurting out the first thing he sees without thinking, “I’ll go with the tofu with crab sauce!”

“What? But you don’t even like tofu…” the green-eyed man points out, shaking his head in disapproval, “Stop spacing out for today, will you? You’ve been really distracted, is something going on?” he can’t help but ask, concern filling his voice.

Kazuto sighs a bit, shaking his head. He keeps on worrying them for no reason, and he scolds himself for it, “Not really… I’m sorry, I guess I really have been spacing out a lot, haven’t I?”

“You know you can talk to us if something’s bothering you…” Alice says softly, placing her menu down.

“Seriously, guys, nothing’s going on, I promise!” he tries to reassure them, hoping his words would be enough to convince them. Alice and Eugeo exchange looks, mirroring each other’s expressions with pursed lips and small frowns. However, they decide to let it go for his sake.

At that exact time, a waiter comes by their table to take their orders, for which Kazuto internally sighs in relief. He has to flip through the pages of the menu quickly while Alice and Eugeo tell the employee what they want, though, since he still hadn’t properly chosen something he liked.

After the waiter goes away, Alice turns to look at them both with a hopeful smile on, her blue eyes shining as brightly as the sea did on a summer day, “So, what are you guys planning to do this weekend?”

Eugeo, who was busy fiddling with a napkin, folding it in the intricate ways Kazuto’s always found fascinating, looks up at her, his eyes shining for a brief moment at the sound of her voice.

_Ah_ , Kazuto thinks, _how could I ever forget?_

The way Eugeo looks at Alice has been familiar to the black haired man for long, much too long. It was like every time she spoke, every time she laughed, every time she frowned, every time she _breathed_ , the entire world stopped to watch in awe. All because she was there and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Kazuto understands, he truly does, because he has also felt like that once. It is a beautiful feeling that he often times misses, and just as often quells it down.

But Eugeo… Eugeo had always looked at Alice as if she were the entire universe; his eyes shone brighter whenever she was in the same room, his smile got a little wider and his posture a bit straighter. Even though he always tried to hide it, Kazuto knew him better than anyone, and he could see right through his mask.

“Nothing much… My mom actually wanted me to stop by, but my desk is piling up with new cases that I have to look into.” the blond answers first.

“Oh…” Alice mumbles softly, and Kazuto can clearly see the disappointment she tries to hide, making him want to slap Eugeo for being too naïve and honest for his own good.

“Hey, I can help you with those! Let’s do something this weekend,” Kazuto says, trying to save the situation.

“Oh, I could never ask you to do tha-” Eugeo starts, shaking his head in refusal, before Kazuto kicks him softly under the table, narrowing his eyes at his clueless friend.

Seriously, how long has this been going on for? He was sure Alice and Eugeo liked each other, but they were both too stubborn to see it. And if his two best friends insisted on being oblivious to their feelings, then he was sure as hell going to help them out.

“A-alright…” Eugeo relents, a small pout on his face as he discreetly tries to rub his calf.

“Then, Alice, what did you have in mind?” the black-haired man asks curiously, turning his attention to the blond female.

“Mmm, I’m not quite sure… Maybe we could watch a movie?” she suggests, that small light returning to her eyes. Kazuto smiles.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea! There’s this movie Eugeo’s been dying to watch,” he says, placing a hand on said man’s shoulder, “Right, Eugeo?”

“Ah, yeah…?” his green-eyed friend answers reluctantly.

“Then it’s settled!” Kazuto announces, clasping his hands together as he tries to suppress the smirk that threatens to take over his lips. Maybe this weekend he’ll catch a cold so bad that he can’t leave his bed… Or maybe his sister will need help around their grandfather’s dojo… The possibilities are endless, but of one thing he’s certain: he’ll do his best to _not_ attend their movie date.

As they go over the details of how their weekend would work, their food eventually arrives and they start to dig in.

“Wow, I’d forgotten how good the food was here,” Alice sighs contentedly every time she takes a bite, the chopsticks lingering on her mouth for a second or two as she enjoys the mix of flavors that explode on her tongue.

“Agreed, I’ve missed thi-” Kazuto stops talking abruptly when he feels something weird stirring in his chest.

_“Have you ever had the feeling that something bad was going to happen? It’s almost like… a thousand sirens go off in your brain, trying to warn you that an inevitable event is coming your way...”_

Why is he remembering that now, of all times? Why is he remembering that woman’s voice? Why can’t he just bury his past for once and for all, so he can forget the venom behind her words and what they had meant afterwards. He always tries his best to move on, because it’s been years and he feels ridiculous for drowning himself in the memories of something that no longer existed.

He takes a deep breath in and clears his throat, trying to shake those thoughts off and finish his sentence. However, just as he was about to, the door to the restaurant opens. Ever since they got there, he didn’t pay attention to who had been coming in and out, but this time, for some reason, he felt compelled to look.

The first one to come in was a man. He was tall, his brown hair neatly styled back and a pair of glasses framing his face. His posture was as straight as can be, and he stood proud, showing off his dark grey suit and his designer lace up shoes. Around his neck was a pink tie that he tried to adjust, his index and middle fingers curling under the knot to pull at it, loosening it just a tad. He licks his lips discreetly and, after adjusting his glasses as well, turns towards the door and to the person that was behind him.

Suddenly, everything starts going in slow motion as he, once again, remembers the meaning behind those words. And he finally understands what the weird feeling in his chest had been.

The woman that came in after the man was just as well dressed as he was. On her feet were light pink stilettos, of the same color as the dress that clung to her curves in a graceful way. Draped over her shoulders was a brown wool coat.

And her hair… The hair color he should’ve long forgotten about, but never truly did. Her chestnut locks were shorter than he remembered, their length reaching her mid back. Half of them were tied up by a multicolored hair scarf, whilst the rest cascaded freely down her back.

His breath got stuck in his throat. His eyes widened slightly. His fingers tightened around the chopsticks. Time stopped. And in that one, single moment, he wished nothing more than to disappear.

She blinked once, twice, and finally turned her full attention to the inside, ignoring the man that attempted to talk to her.

He wanted to hide, to cry, to scream. He hated it. He hated the fact that his heart was racing, almost jumping out of his chest. He hated how the mere sight of her turned him back into the scared high school boy he had once been. He hated that, after all these years, her presence still had as big of an impact on him as it did back then.

As she looked around the restaurant, Kazuto held his breath, praying to all gods that she wouldn’t notice him. But, as fate would have it, they were pulled to each other like magnets. And her gaze eventually settled on him.

He could see everything. The way she stopped moving completely. The way her eyes widened in shock and her breath got stuck in her throat. The way she lost her balance for a few seconds, her feet moving without her permission to take a step back.

Bathed by the lights of the restaurant, Kazuto was sure that not only time, but the entire universe had stopped. He couldn’t hear, couldn’t _feel_ anything around him but her. Only her.

Their gazes were locked to each other, and _Oh God_ , he just wanted to find the key to unlock them. But he couldn’t. Or perhaps, he wouldn’t, because deep down in his heart, he didn’t want to.

They say eyes are the mirror of the soul. That through them, you can tell a person’s true intentions and feelings. He’s always wondered if it was true. If she had been able to tell, had been able to _see_ how much his soul shined like the brightest diamonds whenever she was near. If she had known how much he loved her. Perhaps not, because even now, as they stare at each other, he doubts she’s looking into his eyes and seeing the tiny shards of his soul she left behind all those years ago.

Her mouth moves then. It is a breathless whisper, one that he was sure nobody could hear. But he was still able to read it. And he couldn’t take it anymore.

“ _Kirito-kun…_ ”

Time starts once again.

“I’m sorry, guys, I’m not feeling very well… Please stay here and enjoy your meal. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he says in a hurry, getting up from his chair and picking up his coat and briefcase. Eugeo and Alice look at him in shock, confused by his sudden behavior.

“What? But Kirito, you haven’t even finished your meal-” Eugeo tries, though to no avail. He’s already walking towards the exit, his head bowed down as to not lock eyes with her anymore.

She’s still frozen in the same spot, her hands clutching her purse so tightly that her knuckles have turned white. When she sees him approaching, her mouth instantly opens, but no words come out.

As he passes her by, his nose picks up her scent, and he’s filled with such a nostalgic feeling that his eyes fill with tears. However, before the first one falls, he’s already out of the restaurant, leaving behind the girl that he once loved with all his heart.


	2. When Stars Collide

_"Kirito, don't tell me you're going up to the roof to nap again…" Eugeo sighs through his nose, closing his eyes in exasperation as he watches his best friend make his way towards the classroom door. Upon hearing his nickname, Kazuto turns around with a sheepish grin, shrugging his shoulders._

_"You should know by now that my naps during lunch break are pretty much sacred, Eugeo-kun," he answers mockingly, his grin widening at the hopeless look the blond boy gives him. "Look, I promise I won't be long. I've never missed a class to sleep, you know that."_

_Sitting beside Eugeo, Alice shakes her head in disapproval, even though Kazuto can clearly see the way her lips curve up slightly._

_Smiling once more and throwing them a peace sign, Kazuto bids his farewell as he leaves the classroom. He doesn't necessarily need to pay attention to where he's going. His body knows which direction to follow and his feet move accordingly._

_Stuffing his hands inside of his uniform's pockets, he climbs the stairs leading up to the roof. He's been doing this for a couple of months now, and he can fairly say that his naps after lunch are one of the things he looks forward to everyday. Now that spring had settled in, especially, it feels even nicer to just lay down on the only bench there, close his eyes and slowly fall asleep to the sound of the soft wind blowing and the birds chirping._

_The rooftop of his high school is not as empty as it should've been and it's not very wide. The school staff stored there a lot of things, from classroom desks to old furniture that they deemed to be useful in the future. However, anyone could tell that everything had been sitting there for years on end without any use, if their deteriorated state was anything to go by._

_As he steps onto the roof, he stretches his arms wide and lets out a yawn, closing his eyes for a moment and feeling the soft rays of sun kiss his skin. Walking over to the bench, he plops down easily, supporting his weight on his hands as he stares up at the sky. Today, the weather was particularly nice, even more so when compared to the last couple of days. It wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold either. It was simply perfect. That, along with the gentle breeze that softly caressed his dark locks, made it impossible for him to resist the urge to finally lie down, resting his hands under his head._

_School had started but a month ago, and yet, he was already full of assignments to work on, some of which he had to deliver by next week. He can't help but groan a bit at the thought, turning to his side as if that would delay the imminent reality that was getting closer and closer to him with every second that passed by. Even so, he figures he can postpone it for a bit longer. He's sure Eugeo and Alice will eventually start nagging at him to get things done on time, which he's internally grateful for. He'd be lying if he said it didn't help keep him on track. Knowing him, he would probably leave everything until the last minute if it weren't for them._

_Chuckling to himself, he finally closes his eyes, feeling the heavy fingers of sleep wrapping leisurely around his consciousness, pulling him into a soft slumber._

_He's not sure how long he's out, but he assumes it wasn't over ten minutes, when he feels something, or rather someone, sit on top of him. In his sleep, he'd turned again and was now lying on his stomach, the rough wood of the bench pressing uncomfortably against his cheek. He lazily blinks his eyes open, letting out a soft grunt at the newly added weight on his back. His instincts cause him to shift around a little, in an attempt to make whoever it was move._

_A few seconds of silence pass by, until a loud shriek breaks through the peaceful roof, and the weight on his back is suddenly gone. He sits up quickly, hearing his bones crack back into place under the sudden movement, and his eyes widen in shock, the whole situation becoming clear to him as the final remnants of sleep dissipate and his brain starts working normally again._

_Turning to where the sound came from, his gaze finally lands on the intruder standing a few feet away from him. And suddenly, it feels hard to breathe as he comes face to face with a beautiful girl. Her hazel eyes are wide, staring back at him just as in shock as he was. Luscious chestnut locks cascade gracefully down her back, easily reaching her hips and contrasting beautifully with her pale, porcelain skin. She's dressed in his school uniform, and it finally dawns on him that she's a fellow schoolmate. Although he knows she's not in his class… he'd definitely remember her if she was._

_They stay like that for a while, in awkward silence as they try to process the events that just unfolded. Finally, after what felt like ages of silent tension, she's the first one to move. She takes one step forward, almost hesitantly, and stops in her tracks just as quickly as she'd stepped toward him._

" _Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were there… I was a bit distracted…" she says somewhat shyly, her cheeks tinting with a pale pink hue as she starts feeling the weight of what just happened, "It was not on purpose, I didn't mean to sit on top of you, it's just… I guess my head was up in the clouds."_

_He can't do much besides keep staring at her, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. If he'd previously thought she looked gorgeous, her voice made her even more so. The melodic ring to it filled his chest with a weird but pleasant feeling, leaving behind a sweet aftertaste in his heart, almost like honey._

_He finally manages to will his vocal cords to cooperate and clears his throat as he gets up from the bench, taking a couple of steps towards her, "Oh, it's no big deal, really. I'm sorry if I startled you." He mumbles out, rubbing the nape of his neck._

_Her lips curl a bit in a small, reserved smile as her eyes search his face, finally landing on his hair with a curious glint. It takes him five full seconds to realize what she's staring at, and he can feel blood rush up to his face, leaving a trail of heat in its wake, ultimately settling on his cheeks and ears as he reaches his right hand up to run through his dark tresses. He can almost picture his disheveled hair, and he curses himself for not fixing it sooner._

" _Sorry for waking you up, as well," she speaks up again, trying to smile. Kazuto tilts his head slightly, taking a closer look at her. He can see the smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, and upon a more careful inspection of her, he's able to identify the slight creases of worry between her eyebrows, as well as the way she shifts uncomfortably on her feet and keeps on switching between fiddling with her hands to twisting a lock of hair between her fingers. "I should, uhm… I should probably leave." She points towards the door of the roof, looking at him one last time before turning her back to him and taking quick steps towards the exit._

_He doesn't know what takes over him at that moment, but he springs into action and chases after her, grasping her left wrist with his right hand. He can hear her gasp softly as he turns her around to face him again, his eyes searching hers once more. In her hazel depths, she hides a thousand different emotions, and he can see she's lost and confused. Connecting the dots, he realizes she probably went there to organize her thoughts._

_He licks his lips before speaking up, "The roof is a good place to think. It's calming and it feels therapeutic sometimes. And it's not like I own it, so you can come up here whenever you feel the need to escape from the world. I can guarantee you'll feel better when you leave."_

_Her lips part slightly and her eyes lock with his in wonder. It feels as though they share a multitude of feelings and thoughts in that single moment, where their eyes remain glued on each other's and his palm envelops her wrist in a gentle hold. Her lower lip trembles softly and she turns her head to the side timidly, breaking the moment. He could see her blinking numerous times, in what he assumed to be an attempt to keep the tears at bay. Thus, he finally lets go of her, his palm instantly feeling cold without the warmth of her skin against it._

" _I needed to leave, anyway, so just… Stay here for a bit longer, okay?" Kazuto asks of her, his eyes never leaving her face as he takes slow steps towards the door. He watches as her head snaps up to look at him again, a slight tilt to it. He smiles in what he hopes to be a reassuring way, before turning around and taking the final steps to reach the exit. Just as he grasps the knob and turns it, opening the door with a click, he hears her call out to him._

" _Wait!"_

_Kazuto looks at her over his shoulder, his eyebrow raised slightly in question._

" _What's your name?" she asks curiously._

_Feeling his cheeks heat up once again, he looks her in the eye and says, "Kazuto Kirigaya. Although most people call me by my nickname, Kirito."_

_She nods slowly, "Kirito-kun…" she mumbles, repeating it a couple of times to get familiar with it._

_He doesn't know why, but the way his name rolls off her tongue makes his heart skip a beat. He can't help but stare dumbly at her and wonder what hers is. At last, she smiles at him, so brilliantly that even the sun feels embarrassed, and answers his unasked question._

" _I'm Asuna. Asuna Yuuki."_

* * *

The door to his apartment slams closed after him, shaking on its hinges as he throws his coat, scarf and briefcase to the couch, not sparing a glance to see where they landed. Kazuto pulls at his tie in frustration, feeling like he can't breathe in its choking hold. His hands are trembling slightly, and he curls them into fists in an attempt to make them stop.

How long had it been? How many years had gone by without him laying his eyes on her? Without feeling her presence? It's been long, but maybe not long enough, if the way he reacted at the mere sight of her was anything to go by.

He feels dizzy, like he'd drank too much, even though he hadn't had a single drop of alcohol. Really, he shouldn't be surprised at the way his body responded to her. It had always been like that. She was both his poison and his antidote. She was his blessing and his curse. She was fire that burned, but also water that healed. She was the one who had broken his heart, and he's afraid to think that maybe, just _maybe_ , she might be the only one able to actually fix it.

He feels ashamed, and angry, and lost, and _hurt_. This weird cocktail of emotions intoxicates him to the point where he can't think clearly anymore. He can't sort out his feelings properly and go back to the rational man he's always prided himself to be.

Shrugging off his suit jacket, he's quick to undo the first couple of buttons in his shirt. He runs his hands through his hair, ruffling it as he keeps pacing back and forth in the living room, his eyebrows furrowed and his teeth clenched.

If only he hadn't run away. Why did he leave like that? He tries to blame it in the heat of the moment, since he wasn't expecting to see her again like that. Actually, scratch that. He didn't think he would _ever_ see her again, period. And that was both relieving and terrifying to him. Everyone he'd known at that time told him that everything would get better with time. That he was being too dramatic since she was his first love – his first _everything_. That it was the exaggeration that often came with young love, amplified tenfold by his tender age. And he hated it. He hated it with everything he had, because who were they to tell him how he felt? Who did they think they were to assume he didn't know anything just because he was a teenager? Oh, how wrong they had been. Fifteen years had gone by, and what those people had deemed as "young, stupid love" still had him scarred. It still managed to get him completely worked up, as if everything had happened the day before. When he saw her again, after so, so long, he felt suffocated, and the sudden urge to flee was overwhelming. But even still, deep inside his heart, he could feel a small spark of joy that he desperately wanted to bury deep inside of him.

He didn't want to feel that. He'd rather feel every negative emotion he could think of – from rage to sorrow – because those were easy to deal with. He was used to them. But joy? It has been way over a decade and a half since he last felt such a thing with her. But not only with her, but _for_ her as well. It was all so confusing to him, making it even harder to find a rational explanation for every emotion that was coursing through his veins. His head was spinning and his heart was pounding, threatening to jump out of his chest at any moment.

He still remembers as clear as day all that she had done. It was as if it had been burned onto every fiber of his being with a hot iron. It should've been enough for him to erase her from his memory, to move on and not feel a single thing if he ever came into contact with her again. However, that didn't happen, and he can't understand _why_.

He stops moving suddenly, placing his hands on the back of the couch as he takes in a deep breath, "A…" he tries once, quickly closing his mouth after. Swallowing dryly and licking his lips, he tries again, "Asu… Damnit!" he curses under his breath, punching the couch in frustration. "Why is this so hard to say? It's just a name, for God's sake!"

But it wasn't just any name. It was _her_ name. The name of the only person he had ever loved with everything he had. The name of the only person whom his brain rationally told him to forget, but whom his heart still shamefully longed for.

* * *

"Kirito," Eugeo calls, watching as his best friend practically runs towards the exit. Getting up from his own seat, Eugeo hurries after him, calling out once more, "Kazuto, wait!"

It's to no avail. The black haired man is completely out of it and doesn't spare him a glance as he crosses the door to the exterior, disappearing from his sight. He's just about to reach the door of the restaurant, determined to go outside and follow Kazuto, when his gaze settles on the couple standing by the host station.

It takes him a few seconds to fully process everything, but eventually, his eyes widen and his mouth drops open in shock. He stands there dumbfounded, resisting the urge to rub his eyes and blink a couple of times to make sure that the vision in front of him is not just a mirage that somehow resurfaced from the past. As he looks at her in disbelief, the reason why Kazuto left in a hurry finally hits him like a truck.

For some time, they just stand there in awkward silence, until she decides to be the first one to speak.

"Hello, Eugeo-kun," her voice comes out hoarsely, as if she was trying to hold back tears, even though she forces a smile onto her face. The tension in the air was palpable to anyone who stood nearby, and although Eugeo wanted to turn his back to her and proceed with his original plan to chase after his best friend, he eventually finds himself responding to her.

"A-Asuna…" he stutters back.

"Eugeo, what's going on-" Alice suddenly shows up by his side, stopping mid-sentence as her eyes land on their ex-schoolmate. Eugeo can see the multitude of feelings that cross her eyes in the next few moments. What starts as surprise just as quickly turns into rage, and the blonde woman starts fuming next to him.

Once again, Asuna's lips tug up politely as she gives Alice a small nod of recognition, "Alice-san, it's nice to-"

"You!" Alice spits angrily, her eyes narrowing dangerously and her hands clenching tightly into fists, "Don't you _dare_ say my name."

Eugeo has certainly seen Alice mad a lot of times in all the years they've known each other, and he can say without a doubt that he sympathizes with whoever's on the receiving end of her imminent rage. Although he recognizes that he probably shouldn't, he still feels bad for Asuna. They'd been really good friends in the past, and it still pains him to think about the way everything went downhill in just a couple of weeks.

He understands Alice, he truly does. As Kazuto's best friends, they'd been by his side through the rough times that occurred after the breakup. It took them a long time to actually get him to start living again, and an even longer time for him to somehow resemble the person he had once been. It was not only hard for him, but for them as well. Asuna had become important to them too, and they tried everything in their power to understand what had happened, what went wrong. But just like how she'd done to Kazuto, she cut them out as well, and as such, they stopped seeing each other. That hit Alice really hard, like a bullet to the heart. Even though her relationship with Asuna had started off on the wrong foot, mostly due to her not being used to befriending other girls, they eventually grew as close as sisters. And to have a bond like that cut off suddenly, without any sort of explanation, certainly leaves behind deep scars that never truly heal.

At first, Alice didn't want to believe it, and neither did Eugeo. They were hurt and confused, and seeing Kazuto shut them off, refusing to talk to anyone and barely eating for days on end, made everything a thousand times worse. Eventually, Alice turned her feelings of sadness into a mixture of rage and hatred, even though it was clear that everything was just a facade she used to cover her vulnerability to the touchy subject that was Asuna. Even still, he knows it's difficult for her to control her emotions, especially now that they came face to face with the person that caused the three of them so much pain and grief many years before.

"Alice, we should probably go," Eugeo says, grabbing said woman's wrist and tugging on it lightly.

Alice, however, did not budge. She forcefully freed her wrist from his hold and took a step forward. By the look in her eye, Eugeo could tell that she was being carried away by her feelings, and was probably going to do something she'd regret later. Just as he was about to grab her again, intent on preventing whatever she was thinking of doing, the man who was standing by Asuna's side – and who had been practically invisible to him and the two girls up until now – steps forward, shielding said woman with his body.

"Excuse me, miss. I have no idea who you are, but I'm going to need you to take a few steps back and calm down." The guy says in a monotone, almost impassive voice, and a chill runs down Eugeo's spine. Somehow, now that the man had made his presence known, Eugeo can't help but feel creeped out by him. He doesn't get this sensation often, or ever, really. He's never quick to judge a person and he's even less likely to dislike someone from a first meeting. Yet, for some reason, this man doesn't sit right with him.

"I don't need your help, Sugou." Asuna intervenes, her voice laced with disdain as she practically spits the man's name, as if it were poison. She narrows her eyes scornfully, before stepping from behind him to approach them again. Even after the way Alice snapped at her, the chestnut haired woman still looks at them warmly, a stark contrast to the cold way she'd treated her companion. But there's something more to her gaze that Eugeo can't quite put his finger on… sorrow, perhaps? Maybe… regret? He shakes his head to rid it of those silly, hopeful thoughts. There's no way she still feels any kind of affection towards them.

Before Asuna can say anything else, Eugeo grabs Alice's hand once again, this time with a tighter grip, and pulls her to him.

"We should _really_ get going, Alice…"

She finally looks at him. He tries to reassure her with his eyes, to tell her everything was going to be okay. As their gazes remain locked, he can feel her relaxing in his hold, visibly calming down. He gives her a small smile before wrapping his arm around her and heading for the door. Just as he's about to step outside, he stops in his tracks and looks over his shoulder. Asuna's staring after them, her eyes glistening with unshed tears and her teeth biting down on her lower lip.

Swallowing dryly, Eugeo whispers, "Goodbye… Asuna."

With that, they finally leave the restaurant, stepping out onto the busy street. Eugeo tightens his arm around Alice, pressing his lips together and blinking multiple times to hold back his own tears.

Taking a deep breath, he decides to pull himself together. Now was not the time to be dwelling on what just happened. But still, he can't help but think that if he was feeling like trash after seeing Asuna again, he can't even begin to imagine how Kazuto must be feeling.

Slowly, he loosens his hold on Alice, until his arm falls off her shoulders completely. Turning to her, he asks, "Are you okay?"

She pauses for a second or two before nodding her head once.

"I'm worried about Kirito…" she shares her concerns in a quiet voice.

"Yeah, me too."

It may have been years since it all happened, but Eugeo knows very well that Kazuto hasn't forgotten a thing. He knows his best friend still carries Asuna in his heart, even if they don't talk about her. She was like a taboo between them, the subject of a conversation that they would always avoid, a memory that they preferred to keep buried deep inside their hearts. But today, there was no escape from it. Eugeo was determined to get him to talk. He wanted to help alleviate the weight of everything, even if just a little. The thought of Kazuto holding everything in to the point of tearing himself apart terrified him, and he was willing to do anything to prevent his best friend from going back to the dark place he locked himself in years ago.

"Let me take you home, I'll go back to our apartment afterwards to check on him." Eugeo says.

Alice's eyes widen, "What? But I want to check on him too!"

"I know. But you know how he is, if the both of us try to talk to him, he'll try his best to pretend everything is fine."

Alice frowns at that. Eugeo's sure she wants to help, but unfortunately, the situation's still too fresh. It'll be hard to get anything out of Kazuto, even more so if the both of them try to approach him at the same time. Eventually, Alice nods reluctantly, knowing he's right.

"Alright. But you don't need to take me home, I can go by myself."

"I want to." Eugeo says firmly, leaving no room for argument.

The drive to her place is quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts. When they arrive to her apartment, she refuses to leave the car until he promises to call her to keep her updated. He relents with a chuckle, and after asking her to say hi to Selka - her little sister - for him, he leaves, driving to his and Kazuto's place. They'd been living together for some years, now. After sharing a dorm in college, they'd decided it would be beneficial for the both of them to share an apartment, since it was easier to split expenses and they could keep each other company.

The drive from Alice's home to their own is not long, no more than fifteen minutes at most if there's traffic. Even so, he can't help but feel like it stretches on forever, especially after dropping Alice off.

He feels jittery with nerves as he takes the elevator to their floor, and by the time he inserts his keys into the keyhole of their apartment door, his hands are shaking. He's quick to take off his shoes at the entrance and follow the short hall that leads to their living room. As soon as he gets there, his eyes land on his best friend, sitting down on the couch with his head leaning back and his gaze focused on the ceiling above. His hair is disheveled, his shirt is half open and his things are scattered everywhere.

With a small sigh, Eugeo picks up his coat, scarf and briefcase and sets them off to the side before taking a sit next to him.

"Kazuto… We need to talk."

* * *

Sugou Nobuyuki grits his teeth in a twisted smile as he drives recklessly through the streets. After the unfortunate encounters his little lamb had in the restaurant, she refused to stay any longer. She didn't even let him take her home. As soon as she stepped outside, she called a cab and went away without another word.

What would probably annoy him in any other case, actually makes him quiver with excitement when it comes to her. She had this effect on him that nobody else ever had, and he wants her. _All_ of her.

It starts off as a chuckle. He can't help but find it funny, the way she tries to be feisty and cold towards him. Maybe even endearing. She'd always been like that, ever since they were younger, and he can't help but _love_ the challenge. The thrill of the chase always sends him into a blissful state of euphoria. It makes everything ten times more interesting. He's curious to see how much longer she'll be able to endure. How much time will it take her to finally realize that her life is not hers to dictate? She should know by now that her parents approve of him, and what her parents want, her parents get. Especially her mother.

It soon turns into a cackle that reverberates in the empty car, much to his on-going amusement.

"Oh, little lamb… If only you knew how much I crave you."

His hands tighten around the steering wheel as he steps down on the gas, speeding past every car in his way.

Tonight, he felt like causing trouble.

* * *

_The next day, Kazuto practically flies up the stairs to the roof, taking two steps at a time. He doesn't know why, but he's actually hoping to see that beautiful girl again._

_"Asuna," he whispers under his breath, tasting her name on his tongue. It's sweet and familiar, as if he'd been saying it his whole life. A smile tugs at his lips. He doesn't recognize himself. Girls had always been at the bottom of his priorities' list and he can't really say he's ever been interested in someone. The closest thing he'd had to a girlfriend was a girl named Sachi back in his primary school days. And that had lasted for a month at most, until he eventually traded holding her hand to holding a game console. It was a shame, really. Sachi was a sweet girl who cared for him deeply, but he just wasn't mature enough to be in a relationship. Thankfully, she was understanding when he broke things off (or the closest thing to it a child could actually do) and they stayed friends afterwards._

_He'd be lying if he said he didn't notice how girls whispered about him in the halls. With puberty, he couldn't help the way his curiosity about the opposite gender rose. However, his main interest continued to be games and no one ever caught his attention enough for him to consider giving a more active voice to his inner, hidden inquisitiveness regarding the female gender._

_With Asuna, though, it felt different. She had been the first girl to actively spike his interest. It was like he was instantly pulled to her, much like the moon is to the earth. It felt natural. It felt magnetic. It felt refreshing. It was an immediate connection that he couldn't explain. He wanted to know more about her._

_When he finally reaches his destination, he's completely out of breath. Bending over slightly and supporting his hands on his knees, he looks around eagerly to see if he could spot her anywhere. Much to his disappointment, though, the roof is empty._

_He straightens up with a sigh and kicks the air dejectedly. He was really looking forward to see her._

_"Don't be stupid, Kazuto," he mumbles to himself, "yesterday was the first time you've ever seen her. What made you think she was going to be here again today?"_

_It's a futile attempt to disregard his expectations, and he knows it._

'Well, guess I'll just take my nap then' _, he thinks as he walks up to the bench. As he approaches it, though, something catches his attention. Right in the middle of the bench is a box with a letter attached to it. When he gets closer, he's able to read 'Kirito' written in cute handwriting on the envelope._

_Having his curiosity spiked, he picks up the box and opens the lid. Inside, there's an arranged variety of cookies, each of them with a different shape or topping. He selects one and takes it out, analyzing it closely. This one's shaped like a star, half of it covered in what looked like dark chocolate. Carefully putting it back in its place, he closes the box again and turns his attention to the envelope. Taking out the sheet of paper inside and unfolding it, his eyes scan over the letter's contents._

Dear Kirito,

Or should I say Kazuto? I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you prefer to be called by a complete stranger like myself, so I hope Kirito is fine!

I wanted to thank you for 'lending me the roof' yesterday (could you tell these were supposed to be air quotes? I hope so!), I really needed it. These last few days have been difficult for me in more ways than I can explain, and the time I was able to spend here yesterday truly helped.

I baked these cookies myself to hopefully show you how grateful I am. It isn't much, but I hope you enjoy them!

Sincerely, Asuna

_Before he realizes, he's smiling down at the letter like an idiot, and the disappointment he had felt at not seeing her vanishes completely. Folding the letter carefully and putting it inside of its envelope again, he finally lays down on the bench._

_Picking up the star-shaped cookie again, he closes his eyes and savors it slowly, enjoying the way it melts softly on his tongue._

_As he licks the remaining crumbles on his lips contentedly, he can't help but think that his naps during lunch break aren't the only thing he's looking forward to anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, guys! I hope you enjoyed it and the wait was worth it! As always, feedback is much appreciated~ Until the next time ^_^


	3. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest with you guys, when I started writing this chapter, I definitely wasn't expecting this monstrosity... But oh well, I've always loved whenever the autors of fanfictions I follow updated long chapters xD So I hope you guys do too! I apologize beforehand for any mistakes you may find! I proofread everything, but I might have missed something! Please enjoy :)

_Asuna Yuuki liked to believe she was an ordinary girl. Sure, her family lived off better than the average person that attended her school, but she wasn't one to brag about that. Even though her father owned one of the biggest technology companies in Japan, she never took that for granted, nor did she believe it gave her the right to think she was better than anyone else. In her eyes, all of her schoolmates were her equals. Whether their parents possessed the most expensive mansion in one of the rich districts, or lived in the coldest, darkest suburbs in Tokyo, she couldn't care less. She knew that money wasn't the most important factor in a person's upbringing. Some of her closest friends didn't have much to their family name, but somehow, they were the happiest, sweetest people she'd ever met. They were willing to share whatever little they had without a second thought. On the other hand, though, other acquaintances she had been forced to meet through her parents were the coldest, snobbiest, most arrogant human beings she'd ever laid eyes on. And yet, they had the privilege of having everything they wanted while growing up, and to her, that spoke volumes about what money did to people. She'd lost count of how many relationships she'd seen deteriorate over the years due to family wars over who inherited what and who would take over the business once their parents retired. She was tired of it all._

_Yet, no matter how ordinary Asuna convinced herself to be, her mother would always make sure to put her back in her place and tell her otherwise._

_**'Asuna, behave accordingly.'** _

_Kyouko Yuuki was a cold, calculating woman who expected no less than absolute perfection from her children. Ever since she was little, Asuna had been instructed on how to be a proper, young lady. Lips slightly curved in a reverent smile, not too wide, chin up, back straight, gaze ahead. Take small steps, don't rush yourself, gently hold the fabric of your dress and raise it just enough so you won't step on it and trip. Be polite, nod along to conversations. But not too eagerly; never too eagerly, so it looks sincere. Answer every question directed at you, but never ask too many questions yourself._

_Asuna hated to acknowledge it, but she felt caged. Her mother couldn't care less about what her children wanted, they could only do what was expected of them. They couldn't even decide their own future. Her brother, being the oldest, had to follow in the footsteps of their father so he could take over the company one day. He'd been raised and molded to be the perfect son, whom their mother could brag about to her friends during those ludicrous meetings they were forced to attend every once in a while._

_But Asuna… She didn't even have that. As the second-born, as the_ daughter _, her mother expected her to be the epitome of beauty, grace and intelligence. She had to be the role-model, the straight-A student, the girl who always behaved properly and never said no to whatever her parents asked of her. And even though all of that was certainly important for her mother, she knew that at the end of the day, the one thing Kyouko Yuuki expected the most from her daughter was for her to marry into a nice, influential family. And Asuna despised it with everything she had._

 _She wanted nothing more than to be a strong, independent woman who could take care of herself, who could follow her own path and decide her own future. She wanted to be responsible for her decisions and dictate her own life. She wanted to be_ free _. But no matter how hard she tried, or how long she fought, she always seemed to go back to the same place, and that was living up to her mother's expectations._

_One night, after all of her family had dinner together, her mother had brought up the conversation of marriage. And although that was not an uncommon topic in and of itself, Asuna still couldn't help the loathsome feeling it triggered in her chest. She despised it. Thus, after not being able to completely hide her annoyance, a conflict between her and her mother had ensued. She'd been sent to her room, as if she were a petulant child and not a 16-year-old teenager who was capable of making her own decisions and speaking up for herself. She cried herself to sleep._

_The next day, even though she tried her hardest to pretend everything was okay, she couldn't hide her true feelings for long. Her friends kept on glancing worriedly at her, and there was only so much she could take. Following lunch, after taking a quick trip to the restroom, she eventually found herself climbing up the stairs to the roof, seeking for some peace of mind and a breath of fresh air._

_And that's where she met him._

_She was so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed the figure lying down on the bench, and accidently sat on top of him. He grunted in response, and it took her brain a few seconds to realize that the sound coming from under her was actually produced by a live, breathing person. As she practically flew off him, she couldn't help but silently wish for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. That would certainly be less embarrassing than what she had just done._

_She eventually apologized, after a few moments of waiting for a miracle to happen and take her out of her misery. Feeling the embarrassment crawling under her skin and tainting it red, she waited for him to yell at her, to scold her to be more conscious of her surroundings. But he never did, and instead apologized to her as well. After taking a closer, more detailed look at him, her eyes eventually landed on his disheveled hair, and it was all she could do not to giggle at how cute it looked. He really had been napping before she'd gotten there._

_Not wanting to intrude any longer, she decided it was best to leave. But, before she could reach the door, he grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him. And their eyes locked. He gazed at her with such a strange mix of curiosity, awe and worry that she could feel her heart tighten in her chest. And when he told her to go up to the roof whenever she wanted, it was like an entire dam burst inside of her. All of the feelings she had been repressing the entire morning suddenly threatened to crawl up her throat and gush out. Looking at him suddenly became too much, and she had to tear her gaze away or else the tears would start running down her face, and she might do something stupid like cling to his chest and bawl like a little girl, completely ignoring the crucial fact that she'd just met him._

_She's not sure if he thought his actions made her uncomfortable, but he eventually released her wrist, leaving behind a cold, bitter feeling she knew too well. Longing._

_When he turned to leave, after insisting once more for her to stay there, her body moved on its own accord and her lips opened involuntarily and called out to him, asking for his name._

_Kazuto Kirigaya… Kirito…_

_She sighed softly, twisting the pen in her hand as she looked out the window. The time she spent on the roof afterwards was truly healing, like he said it would be. She managed to find the comfort she yearned for, but she knew for a fact that it was not only due to the place itself, and more so to the person she'd met there. The way he was worried about her, how he was willing to share a place that no doubt was special to him only so she could feel better, even though they'd never met before, stuck to her like glue. It was all she could think about, even after she went back to her classroom, and eventually home. However, she couldn't find it in herself to talk to her mother, the harsh words thrown at each other the night before still freshly printed on her mind. Thankfully, they seemed to be on the same page, and after brief greetings, they left no room for any other form of conversation to rise._

_Two things she always enjoyed doing to get her mind off of things, was cook and bake. Even though they had housemaids, whenever she found the time or was in need of a break, she always found herself in the kitchen, all types of ingredients set out before her. Normally, she set out to do whatever came to mind, experimenting and messing around with the ingredients to come up with new and different recipes. However, that day, she had a set thought in her mind and a certain person in her heart. She worked with the ingredients with passion, mixing them up with a soft smile and cutting the cookie dough in different shapes while humming to a soft tune under her breath. When the cookies had finished baking, she garnished them with all sorts of toppings. After arranging them into a small box, she wrote a small letter to go along with it. The next day, before having lunch, she climbed up to the rooftop and left both gifts on the bench in which she met the person whom she wanted to thank, hoping to all gods that he would be able to tell how grateful she truly was for everything he had done._

_That was two days ago, and since then, Asuna no longer returned to the roof. Not because she didn't want to, but because of the lack of time she had on her hands. Along with being the straight-A student her mother always dreamed of, she was also class president. As such, she had a lot of obligations to manage, most of which she had to take care of during lunch break, since any other free time she had left was usually spent studying for the midterms that were scheduled for the next month. However, as much as she tried her best to concentrate, she couldn't seem to stop the way her mind wandered every so often to a certain dark-haired boy. She wanted to see him again._

_"Hey, hum… You don't happen to know a guy from our school named Kirito, do you?" she questions her friends in a low voice, and watches as their chatter slowly dies down before they turn their full attention to her. Yuuki, Rika and Shino look at her in surprise, as if she'd just grown a second head only by opening her mouth to speak. They usually liked to gather around her table while she worked after lunch, just to keep her company so she didn't feel lonely. This small gesture of theirs didn't go unnoticed by her, and it truly meant a lot, even if she didn't have the time to fully indulge in their conversations._

_"W-what?" Yuuki's the first to break the awkward silence, blinking her big, brown eyes in interest._

_"Ah, it's just a boy I met the other day on the rooftop of our school-"_

_She's unable to finish her sentence, because Rika suddenly jumps from her seat and places both hands on her shoulders, shaking her vigorously._

_"Wait, you met THE Kirito? How come we're only hearing of this now?" she practically screams in Asuna's face, her freckles seemingly jumping in excitement along with her._

_"I-I didn't think it was that big of a dea-"_

_"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?" Rika shouts, startling everyone in the classroom, before falling dramatically on her chair, arm covering her eyes as she mumbles incoherently under her breath._

_Asuna smiles apologetically to their classmates, watching as they eventually go back to what they'd been doing before Rika's outburst. She then turns to Yuuki and Shino with a confused frown, hoping one of them would be able to explain what Rika was going on about._

_"Don't you remember that guy Rika's been fangirling over since our first year here? The one who participates in a lot of gaming tournaments-" Shino starts saying, but Rika once again interrupts._

_"He doesn't just_ participate _, Shino, he_ wins _! He's been winning left and right, and nobody's able to stop him! He's incredible!" Rika's eyes twinkle in delight at the mere thought of the boy, and her lips split into a large grin._

_"Oh, I remember now! Rika's always going to his tournaments to cheer him on, right? She even has that big poster full of glitter she personally made for him," Yuuki perks up at the memory, clearly proud of herself for remembering all of that._

_Rika shrinks a little in embarrassment, mumbling, "Well, no need to go into_ that _much detail…"_

_"He's really popular at our school, especially among the female students. I mean, you've got one of the biggest fans right here, how come you didn't remember him?" Shino asks._

_Asuna purses her lips. Somehow, when he told her his name, it did sound oddly familiar, but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. She wasn't one to pay attention to those kinds of things, and gaming particularly was just not in her list of interests. But now that her friends had shed some light on the matter, she starts remembering some of the gossip that goes around their school, about the pro gamer. She remembers Rika wanting to drag the three of them along with her to one of his tournaments, but failing miserably. She remembers the girls' dreamy sighs as they spoke about him in the corridors and the boys' glares of jealousy as they eavesdropped._

_"It's kind of unforgettable, when you think about it. Usually, guys who play too much video-games are shunned, but he's like a girl-magnet…"_

_"Shino, you don't understand! You say that because you've never seen the way he rolls his shoulders as he picks up the gaming console or how his eyebrows furrow in concentration when he's about to completely destroy the enemy!" Rika exclaims excitedly._

_"Yeah, I really don't get it," Shino shrugs and Rika pouts._

_"Well, either way, it doesn't matter! Why were you asking about him, Asuna?"_

_"Oh my God, yes, I completely forgot! What do you mean, you met him?!"_

_Yuuki and Rika both look at her expectantly, resembling two excited puppies that had just been called to play. Asuna can feel her ears growing hotter, and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. She definitely wasn't expecting her simple question to turn into something as big as this._

_"U-uh, well… I… It's kind of a weird story, actually," she says, trying to decide if she should tell them the whole truth behind their encounter. Before she can continue, however, a fellow classmate approaches her table._

_"Hey, Pres, there's some guy outside looking for you," he says, pointing towards the door. She tries to look past him to get a glimpse at whoever it may be, but fails miserably, since the door is closed._

_"Really? Who is it?"_

_"I don't know, he said his name was Kirito."_

_At that, she can feel every single person in the classroom turn their attention to her, along with her heart fluttering inside her chest. The girls look at her suspiciously, with something akin to annoyance, while the boys seem very much displeased at the thought of another guy coming to their classroom to have a word with their class president. Smiling awkwardly, Asuna gets up and arranges her skirt, feeling the way her cheeks get warmer by the second. She's not blind to the perplexed looks her friends are also giving her, but she tries to brush it off._

_"I'll be back," she mumbles with a small wave, before strutting away from them and exiting the classroom. Closing the door behind her with a short sigh, her back automatically leans against the wood, supporting her weight._

_"Hey, Asuna," a voice calls from her right, and she almost jumps out of her skin. Turning towards the sound, her eyes land on the boy she'd been talking about just a few moments prior, and her stomach fills with thousands of butterflies, flapping their wings incessantly._

_Straightening herself, she offers him a sweet smile full of joy, "Hello, Kirito-kun!"_

* * *

The sound of the doorbell ringing startles her out of her reverie. Loosening the iron-like grip she has around the wooden spoon, she stops mixing the batter as her gaze refocuses on the present. Mindlessly wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist, Asuna hurries towards the door of her penthouse. After peeking through the peephole, she is quick to open it, and almost sighs in relief at the person standing before her.

"Wow, you are a mess, what the hell happened?" Yuuki asks, stepping inside and closing the door after her. She does a once-over of her best friend, eyeing the messy way her chestnut locks are tied up in what could barely be called a bun that sits atop her head. Flour is smudged all over her face and arms, and her eyes seem to be red-rimmed and puffy.

"What happened to saying hi?" Asuna replies with a small chuckle.

"Something's troubling you… That should be reason enough to skip the pleasantries." Yuuki grabs her hand and drags her across the apartment, knowing the entire layout by heart. When she gets to the kitchen, her eyes widen in shock at the sheer amount of dishes that are set all over - it's almost impossible to see the white marble of the countertops, and the small square dining table sitting in the corner is not doing much better either. The only safe place is a small portion of the island, and even that is starting to disappear under sets of bowls and multiple ingredients scattered all around.

"… okay, this is more serious than I thought…" Yuuki mutters under her breath, placing her hands on Asuna's shoulders, "What's going on?"

Asuna looks off to the side, her gaze shimmering in the kitchen lights as she purses her lips. It takes her a few moments, but she eventually answers, in a voice so low that Yuuki could barely hear, "I… saw Kirito-kun today…"

Yuuki's eyes widen at that and her hands fall off Asuna's shoulders. Taking a small step back, she supports her weight on the closest island stool as a million thoughts run through her mind at once.

' _Why? How? When? Where?'_

She wants to ask all of that, but in the end, she's only able to let out a small "What?"

Asuna nods in return, slowly walking back to the bowl she had been mixing prior to Yuuki showing up. Grabbing the spoon once again, she starts stirring vigorously as she blinks her eyes rapidly and scrunches up her nose. Yuuki immediately recognizes the tell-tale gestures, knowing her friend's trying her hardest to hold back tears. That, along with her whole appearance when she answered the door, tells Yuuki everything she needs to know about how Asuna must have spent her evening.

With a small sigh, Yuuki walks over to her and grabs her hand. Asuna refuses to look as her closest friend gently removes the wooden spoon from her grasp and turns her sideways, so they can be face to face. Slowly, carefully, Yuuki wraps her arms around her best friend, guiding Asuna's head to rest it against her shoulder, hand reaching up to caress the soft chestnut locks that managed to free themselves from the bun.

It's quiet for a few moments, as Asuna tries her best to hold everything in.

"You can let it all out, I'm here for you." Yuuki says.

It's only a small reassurance, but it's all it takes. It starts off as a small whimper, but soon, all of her restraints break and Asuna's whole body starts trembling, her shoulders shaking violently as she weeps incessantly into Yuuki's shirt. Yuuki stands there silently, with closed eyes and tightly-pressed lips, her soul slowly shattering with every heartbreaking sob that leaves her friend's parted lips.

She knew this was bound to happen one day, that it was only a matter of time. It's been years and she thought she had had enough time to prepare for it, to be ready for the fateful encounter that would undoubtedly leave Asuna in the same state of despair as she had been in the past. But now, as she tightly holds her best friend in her arms and strokes her head reassuringly, she wonders just how well she had truly done that.

It takes a while, but when Asuna finally starts to calm down, Yuuki guides her to the living room and sits her down on the couch. After a quick trip to the kitchen to prepare something for the both of them to drink, she eventually returns and places a steaming mug of tea on Asuna's hands.

"Thank you," Asuna mutters, offering her a small smile, "And sorry…"

"Don't be silly, you know you don't have to apologize," Yuuki says, "Do you… want to talk about it?"

Asuna lets her gaze linger on the dark liquid that fills her mug, watching as the steam rises from it and eventually dissipates in the air. She stares at her reflection, at the way her bangs are in a disarray and her eyes look lethargic… _dead_. Tightening her hold around the mug, she takes a small sip of the tea, feeling the way it descends down her throat and warms up her stomach. Somehow, it's still not enough to dispel the chill that has settled over her heart.

"You know today was my day off, right? I wanted to spend it by myself, but my mother had other plans and forced me to go have lunch with Sugou-"

"Ugh, I hate that guy, he's disgusting," Yuuki groans, sticking her tongue out in clear distaste at the mention of the man.

"Well, that makes two of us," Asuna chuckles softly. "Anyway, he made a reservation in a restaurant I'd never gone to before. When we got there and I looked around… I saw Kirito-kun sitting at a table with Eugeo-kun and Alice-san. He was already looking at me and," she pauses, trying to swallow the lump that was starting to grow on her throat, "Yuuki, you should've seen his eyes… He looked so shocked and… _heartbroken_. Like the mere sight of me was so horrifying that he'd rather disappear."

Asuna stops once again and takes another sip of her tea, willing the erratic beat of her heart to calm down before she continued. It was all she could do not to break down again.

' _No, you've already cried enough today. Stop.'_ She tries to mentally scold herself.

"Suddenly, he got up from his seat, gathered his things and left – just like that. He passed right by my side but didn't look at me again. And _oh God_ … I felt like the worst human being on the face of this earth. I felt like complete and utter _garbage_."

Yuuki, who had been listening attentively, shakes her head in disapproval and places a hand on Asuna's arm, "You know that's not true-"

"But it is!" Asuna says, placing her mug on the coffee table with a little more force than she originally intended, "I've hurt him in so many ways…"

"Not because you wanted to! You had no other choice!"

"You know, for all these years, I've tried to convince myself of that as well… I tried telling myself that it was the only way, that it was the right thing to do… But was it really?"

"Asuna-"

"I'm no better than my mother," Asuna spits angrily with clenched teeth.

"Don't you _dare_ say that!" Yuuki scolds, her eyebrows furrowing, "You and your mother couldn't be any more different, even if you tried."

Asuna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in, before opening them again and continuing, "But… I'm so selfish. I know, _I know_ he has every right to hate me. He has every right to never want to see me again. And yet, here I am, crying my heart out because some stupid part of me still hoped he'd be happy to see me…"

Yuuki gazes at her softly with a sad smile, "You still love him, don't you?"

Asuna doesn't answer, but she doesn't have to. It's written all over her face. Even though they didn't talk much about him before today, it had always been clear that something was missing from Asuna's life ever since she and Kazuto broke up. She didn't smile as wide, she didn't laugh as loud, she didn't live as fully. She truly had become a shell of the joyous girl she used to be whenever the man she loved was near. She'd been forced to put on a smile for her parents, who refused to understand the impact the boy had in her life. Putting on a mask became an habit, one she perfected over the years. The facade she put on to pretend everything was fine, even though it clearly wasn't – and hadn't been for years - may have been enough to satisfy her family, but it wasn't enough for Yuuki.

"You know what happened wasn't your fault… You did what you could to protect him, and you shouldn't feel guilty for doing what you thought was right."

"But was it, really? Was it worth the pain I put him through? Was it worth the pain _I_ went through?" Asuna asks quietly, her shoulders sagging in defeat.

Yuuki closes her lips tightly, not knowing what to say. It always pained her to see Asuna so vulnerable, so forlorn. It was clear that what she needed weren't words of comfort or empty promises that everything would be okay – it was closure, and that, Yuuki could never give her, no matter how much she wanted to.

Scooting closer, Yuuki encourages Asuna to lay down on her lap, to which her best friend readily complies. Taking hold of the hair tie that was doing a very poor job of securing Asuna's hair in place, Yuuki pulls it out, releasing the lustrous chestnut locks from its hold and watching as they fall beautifully down her lap, almost reaching the floor.

They sit there quietly for a while, with Yuuki running her hands through Asuna's hair, while the latter sighs softly every once in a while.

Yuuki's the first to break the silence.

"I'm sorry I got here so late… I know you texted me pretty early, but I had to finish up some paperwork back at the station," Yuuki mumbles, feeling the heavy fingers of regret probing at her heart.

**-Hey, Yuuki, do you mind dropping by when your shift is over?-**

The text message was pretty simple and no other context was given. It wasn't unusual for them to exchange messages like this, but somehow, Yuuki could still sense that something was terribly off. Nonetheless, she couldn't find it in herself to leave all the paperwork to her new partner and ended up helping him out until the late hours of the evening.

"It's alright, I knew you were working. I'm just glad you came," Asuna answers in a whisper.

Wanting to lighten up the mood and cheer her up a bit, Yuuki nudges Asuna lightly with a mischievous smile on her face, "But really, I feel bad for your kitchen. Maybe if I'd gotten here sooner, I could've saved it from your cooking rampage" she teases, "Seriously, were you thinking of feeding an entire regiment? What are you going to do with so much food?"

"You know cooking helps me clear my head," Asuna laughs, nudging her back as light crimson blossoms on her cheeks, "And actually, I was thinking of packing everything up and take it with me to the hospital tomorrow."

"Aaaah, I may drop by, then!" Yuuki says and Asuna giggles.

"You know you can take some with you, right?"

"Of course! As if _I_ would pass up the opportunity to eat your food!"

A comfortable silence settles between them once again, as they enjoy each other's company. A small smile lifts the corners of her lips up as Asuna enjoys the feeling of Yuuki's fingers running gently over her scalp. After breaking all of her restraints and sharing her honest thoughts, she feels slightly better, as though a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Hey, Yuuki?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you… for everything."

Yuuki smiles softly.

"I'll always be here for you when you need to talk," she answers, patting Asuna on the head, "Actually, speaking of which, did you talk to Shino? It's been ages since I last heard from her… I swear, that girl must have thrown her phone into the ocean…"

"I didn't want to bother her… You know she's on vacation, she's probably enjoying her time as much as she can!"

"She could still call us every once in a while," Yuuki pouts dejectedly, and it's Asuna's turn to pat her head with an affectionate smile on her face.

"Well, how about I go fetch us some cake and we watch a movie? You can stay over tonight, if you want!" Asuna suggests, starting to get up from her seat.

"Oh my God, yes! I'd love to!" Yuuki nods eagerly and watches as Asuna gives her the brightest smile of the evening. And suddenly, her heart feels a whole lot lighter.

Making her way into the kitchen, Asuna quickly works on tidying everything up a bit. After storing the batter she had been working on in the fridge and putting the rest of the ingredients in their respective places, she randomly chooses one of the cakes she had baked and cuts two slices, setting them onto two separate plates with small forks on the side.

Before grabbing both plates and going back to Yuuki, she pauses for a second and leans against the island, closing her eyes tightly. Today had most definitely not been a smooth ride like she'd hoped, and she felt completely drained because of it.

With a small sigh, she opens her eyes and steels herself. At least she'll get to spend some more time with Yuuki, which is always a good thing. Yuuki is like a happy pill, always spreading light and positivity around and turning the most difficult of times into something somehow bearable, and Asuna fears she'll never be able to actually put into works how much her bubbly friend means to her.

When she finally goes back to the living room, Yuuki's on her phone.

"Wait, what?!" Yuuki shouts into the speaker, her hand visibly tightening around the device as she abruptly stands up, "Alright, I'm on my way, give me a few minutes! Be sure to keep the entire scene intact until I get there."

After that, she hangs up and turns to face Asuna with a taut expression. Their eyes lock, and Asuna can feel her heart constricting painfully in her chest at the utterly distressed look Yuuki gives her. She recognizes that look and automatically knows that something is very, _very_ wrong.

"Yuuki…" her voice comes out ragged, breaking at the last syllable.

"It happened… again…" is all Yuuki says, but Asuna doesn't need her to elaborate. She understands. There's only one case Yuuki's been working on that could leave her so troubled.

Only when the forks start rattling against the plates does she realize her hands are shaking.

* * *

He sits in the darkness of his office, comfortable in the familiar embrace of the shadows that surround him. The only source of light in the room comes from the wide windows behind him, that allow the moonlight to shine through. But even that doesn't last for long as dark clouds start rolling in, hiding the moon from the world. From _him_. A clap of thunder reverberates in the office not long after, but he doesn't flinch. His hands rest on top of his desk as he plays with the ring wrapped around his forefinger, twisting it out like a loose screw only to put it back in place afterwards.

The smile on his face stretches as he looks over his shoulder, turning his chair around to face the large windows.

He always loved thunderstorms. Everything about them fascinated him, from the sky turning gray, to all light vanishing, blanketing the earth in the shadows that he so deeply loved. How the ever so frequent clap of thunder that resonated was capable of striking fear in people. It was completely and utterly captivating.

A knock sounds on the door. He doesn't answer. Not long after, he can hear the knob twisting as the person steps inside. He hears the soft sound of footsteps on the carpeted floor as the man approaches him.

"What is it?" he mumbles, not bothering to turn around and face the visitor.

"Boss, I've taken care of everything like you requested," the man says, bowing his head slightly.

"Good," is all he answers.

Silence fills the room, and he glances through the window's glass reflection at the man as he straightens up, before staring directly at him. He grunts.

"What else?"

"The police are getting more and more invested in the cases. That means they'll eventually end up finding something-" the man starts, but he interrupts.

"If the police somehow managed to find something, like you say, that would just mean you haven't been doing your job properly, isn't that right?"

He watches as the black-haired man clenches his jaw, clearly displeased at the confrontation. However, no response comes, and he rolls his eyes behind his glasses.

"What do you suggest?" he asks.

The man clears his throat and runs his index and middle fingers over the tattoo adorning the right side of his face, "We should lay low for a while… And it would be best to find a scapegoat. That would be the most efficient way of getting the cops off our back."

"A scapegoat, you say?" he mumbles, taking his eyes off the man's reflection and staring off into the night. The clouds keep rolling in, clashing together and fusing with each other until they burst in lightning that tears the sky apart like an open wound.

Under normal circumstances, he would hate for other people to take credit for the things he does. However, he's still a rational man and he knows it won't be beneficial for him to be linked to the cases. As much as he takes pride in his work, he recognizes that going to jail will do him no good. He still has a lot more to do and becoming a suspect would just hinder his plans. Thus, finding a scapegoat would definitely be the smartest approach, if only to entertain the police. Plus, the whole situation could prove to be quite entertaining, if the very clear and vivid image that prints itself on his brain when his assistant proposes the plan is anything to go by. He pictures it: the face of a particular man whom he learned to despise over the last two years due to the close relationship said man forged with the beautiful woman whom was to be _his_ , and his alone.

He smirks.

"I know just the person."

Thunder booms as the sky starts to cry.

* * *

Kazuto closes his eyes and sighs softly through his lips, forcing down the grunt that threatened to rumble from his throat. As he lays on his bed, the sheets pulled all the way up to his chin, he can't help but feel miserable. He _really_ needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut. Or rather, his thoughts in this particular case.

The weekend had finally rolled in, and while he had originally planned to come up with an excuse to not go to the cinema with his friends, like catching a cold per say, he hadn't actually predicted that the fake scenario he had come up with would become real.

With his nose all clogged up, his eyes teary and his entire body feeling sore, he can only watch helplessly as the pile of tissues keeps growing exponentially on his bedroom floor. And to make matters worse, Alice and Eugeo refused to go anywhere, stating that they wouldn't leave him behind in such a deplorable state.

At least he can hear them talking animatedly in the kitchen, Alice's soft laugh filling his ears every once in a while.

 _Eugeo, you smooth bastard._ He thinks with a small smirk, before a sneeze ruins his temporary happiness and forces him to blow his nose again. Another tissue falls defeatedly to the ground, joining its fellow comrades that got overpowered by his cold.

If he had to point out one advantage to being sick, it would probably be that he can finally have some rest on the weekend. Considering he has been getting mountains of paperwork back in the office – courtesy of his senior, Sortiliena, who just loved passing onto him the work she couldn't, or rather didn't like to, take care of – he can't really remember the last time he got a full weekend off, where he could just relax for a whole day without having to tend to anything work-related. Of course, he'd prefer to spend his free time doing something he enjoyed rather than staying curled up in his blankets, and he can't deny that it would be a much more pleasant experience if he didn't feel like a dying whale whenever he tried to breathe through his nose, but he guesses he can work around those predicaments.

However, there's multiple downsides to his current condition that trample over and completely destroy any good he could take out of the situation. First and foremost, his very ill-tempered mood. Alice kept on mocking him, telling him that he reminded her of a grumpy old-man who kept on losing to his ultimate rival while playing bingo. He had practically kicked her out of the room at the outrageous comparison, throwing a pillow while she ran away, her jovial laughter bouncing off the walls as she escaped. Secondly, the numerous times he had to get up and change clothes. He kept on sweating buckets, and the clothes got all clammy pretty quickly, so he had to discard them in favor of dry, clean ones every few hours. And last but not least, being confined to his bed, alone for the most time, gave him all the time in the world to think about things he'd much rather not think about.

It's been three days since he saw Asuna. Three days since he stormed out of the restaurant and blindly went home, seeking for some kind of comfort within the familiar walls of his apartment. Three days since his disoriented brain unburied every single memory of hers from the past and replayed them over and over again, until he could practically recite them in full detail. And three days since his heart came to the terrifying conclusion that, no matter how many years had passed, he was still not over her.

Thankfully, Eugeo followed him that day. His best friend had been insistent, but patient, as he asked him to share his thoughts and worries. Kazuto didn't like to open up very often, particularly so when the subject was Asuna. But that day, there was no running from it. He could no longer deny her existence and pretend that she hadn't played a huge role in his life. It was impossible for him to disregard her when she had showed up right in front of him, all beautiful waves and shimmering eyes. So he told Eugeo. Everything he had kept to himself for all of these years, he told him. Every memory and thought and emotion, he told him. And every tear he had stowed away, afraid to let out, fell. Afterwards, as they both sat side by side, heads leaning back against the couch, feet stretched out as far as the coffee table in front of them allowed, and gazes settled on the white ceiling, they smiled.

Kazuto felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest and tried his hardest to store away the disastrous reencounter to the back of his mind. He was successful in the following days, barely recalling anything with the help of Eugeo and Alice. Immersing himself in his work also seemed to help a lot, and he particularly found himself enjoying his time, completely unmindful of what had happened, while instructing the new intern under his wing, Ronye.

Those welcomed distractions were long gone now, and he found himself completely alone with his thoughts in his room. He had tried to get up and go to the kitchen in the morning, longing for a change in his environment, but he'd felt dizzy along the way and Eugeo had practically dragged his ass back to bed. After that, Eugeo had forced him to stay still, much to his chagrin. The only salvation he had were the naps he took every once in a while, as his ill body succumbed to the exhaustion brought by the flu.

"Big brother… big brother?" a voice suddenly calls out to him, and his eyes snap open. Standing over him, hands on her knees, head tilted slightly to the side and eyebrows crinkled in worry, is his little sister.

"Su-Suguha?" he asks incredulously, sitting up quickly. An unexpected wave of vertigo hits him and he places a hand on his head to steady the spinning, "What are you doing here?"

"Geez, I knocked on the door before I came in but you were completely out of it," she huffs as she rearranges the pillows behind him, before grabbing his shoulders and guiding him to lean back against the headboard. He mumbles a short thanks while scooting over a bit so she could sit down on the edge of the bed.

"As for why I'm here, Eugeo called me and told me you were sick. Mom made you some porridge!" she says with a smile, waving a thermal bento on his face.

"Of course it was Eugeo," he rolls his eyes, but the way his lips curve upwards betrays his fake annoyance, "You didn't have to come all the way here, it's just a flu."

Suguha fixes him with a hard stare and he instantly swallows down the remaining complaints that were going to spill from his lips.

"Or, since you're already here, you could keep me company," he pats her on the head and watches as her pursed lips slowly transform into a radiant smile.

"See, was that so hard? You should try to rely on people more often, big brother. We just want what's best for you," she says earnestly, giving him a meaningful look.

He watches as she opens up the bento and retrieves a spoon she'd probably grabbed from the kitchen before going to his bedroom, stirring the porridge while blowing softly on it to help cool it down. He sighs.

"Eugeo told you, didn't he?"

She stops for a moment, hesitant on how to answer, before turning to him and handing him the bento.

"He told me enough," she finally settles for a simple answer while placing the spoon on his right hand and nodding slightly at the porridge, signaling him to eat.

"How much is 'enough'?" he questions, lowering his hands to his lap. It's her turn to sigh.

"I didn't come here because of that, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm not _thinking_ anything, I just want to know."

After staring at him silently for a few seconds, she finally relents, "He didn't tell me much… Just that you crossed paths with her the other day."

He grabs a spoonful of porridge and blows on it silently while she looks at him, a guilty frown contorting her features.

"Big brother, I don't want to pry…" she says and places a hand on his arm, "And I know you don't like talking about… _her_. So I'm not forcing you to. I just want to take care of you while you're sick."

He can feel the sincerity in her voice and finds himself at a loss for words. He hated keeping her in the dark, and her thinking he didn't trust her enough to talk about his problems was the last thing he wanted. But he's always been bad with words. When it comes to his personal life and problems, it's hard for him to express himself. Sugu has always been understanding, ever since they were children, and he longed to be just a little more like her. To be able to fully open up his heart without any restraints to those closest to him. But somehow, he always ended up finding himself at a crossroad, not knowing which direction to go and how to follow suit.

"I… I don't want you to think I don't trust you, Sugu… It's not that, I just-" he starts, but she interrupts with a small, understanding smile.

"I know, big brother, you don't have to explain anything. Just know that you can talk to me whenever you feel ready."

He smiles back.

After that, he slowly eats the porridge while they speak and catch up. They talk on the phone pretty regularly, but it's been some time since they'd seen each other in person. He asks her about her kendo practices and she asks him about amusing cases he recently worked on. He laughs about a fellow friend of hers apparently having a crush on her and she laughs over his failed attempt to evade Alice's plans for the weekend and let her and Eugeo go on a date by themselves. While they chat, the hour passes by, and he eventually finds himself getting sleepy again.

"Alright, I guess I'll take that back," she says, taking the bento out of his hands.

"Thanks, Sugu," he smiles as she helps him lay down again. She presses a gentle palm against his forehead and her eyebrows furrow a little.

"Your fever still seems to be running a bit high…" she mumbles. Without another word, she leaves the room, and he looks at her in confusion when she returns a few moments later with a basin filled with water and a cloth hanging from her arm.

"There's no need for-"

"Hush, you need to cool down," she says, swatting his hand away when he tries to grab her arm.

With a small pout, he can't help but watch as she dips the cloth in the water and wrings it afterwards, before folding it up perfectly and placing it on his burning forehead.

"Try to rest a bit, okay?" Sugu asks as she walks towards the door.

"Alright," he says with a small smile. He pauses for a while, mustering up the courage to finish his sentence, "And… Stop by more often, will you? I… enjoy having you over."

She looks at him in surprise, clearly taken aback by his sudden proposal. But it doesn't take long for happiness to take over instead, as her lips split into a giant grin and her eyes shine in delight.

"Deal!" she answers excitedly, running over to him and wrapping her arms around him over the blankets, her head snuggling on his chest. He chuckles.

"Oi, Sugu, don't get too close or you'll get sick too," he says in a mock scold and she giggles.

"Okay, okay, I'm going now!" she gets up and presents him again with a wide smile as she walks towards the door once again. "Sweet dreams, big brother," she whispers softly as she steps out of the room and closes the door behind her.

He can't hold back the smile that also spreads on his lips as he wishes her a safe trip. And that smile doesn't fade, even as his consciousness starts to drift away.

* * *

When he wakes up, the soft light that radiated through his curtains is completely gone. A quick glance at the clock resting on top of his bedside table tells him it's already past 8 PM, and his stomach growls as if to confirm it. Grabbing the cloth that still rested on his forehead, he discards it to the side, before pushing the covers off him and getting up from the bed.

Following the sound of the TV, he walks down the corridor. He's not sure if it's from his mother's porridge, the nap he just took or Suguha's visit – perhaps, it's a mix of the three – but he definitely feels much better.

When he reaches the living room, he sees the back of Eugeo's head leaning against the couch and the TV turned on in the news channel. He starts approaching carefully with a mischievous smile lifting the corners of his lips up, intent on scaring him. However, once he's close enough, he stops in his tracks and his eyes widen.

With her head leaning against Eugeo's shoulder, locks of blonde hair falling over her face and lips slightly parted as she breathes slowly, is Alice, fast asleep.

He lets out a low chuckle as his gaze softens considerably at the sight. Upon hearing that, Eugeo turns his head around in surprise, his own eyes widening in shock at seeing Kazuto up.

"Kazuto, I told you to stay put!" Eugeo whisper-scolds him with a glare.

"I'm feeling better," he shrugs nonchalantly, "Besides, I spent the whole day lying down thanks to _someone_ ," he narrows his eyes back at Eugeo, "I'm tired of being in my room."

Eugeo looks guilty for a moment, but Kazuto doesn't let him dwell on that feeling for too long. His lips pull up in a small smirk.

"On second thought, though… Perhaps, I should go back into hiding," he says, taking small steps back as his eyes drift between Alice and Eugeo continuously, before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Kazuto watches in delight as Eugeo's cheeks heat up in a faint blush.

"It's not what you think," his blond friend mumbles shyly, tearing his gaze away.

"Sure, it isn't," Kazuto says with a low laugh.

"She was just tired and when she fell asleep, her head accidently leaned against my shoulder, it wasn't on purpose or anything," Eugeo explains quickly while trying to keep his voice low, careful not to wake Alice up. Kazuto's smirk widens and Eugeo's blush deepens, "Just sit down and wipe that smirk off your face!"

Laughing once more, Kazuto does as he's told and sits down on the vacant chaise in their living room. Teasing Eugeo was just too easy.

"Is she going to stay over?" he asks.

"I don't know… Maybe, if it gets too late and she doesn't feel like going back home… But I highly doubt she wants to leave Selka all by herself." Eugeo says, carefully brushing a few strands of hair from her face when he notices her crinkling her nose at the ticklish feeling.

"You two are idiots," Kazuto says finally, rolling his eyes. Eugeo glares.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, if you can't figure _that_ out, you're even more of an idiot than I originally thought."

He easily catches the pillow Eugeo throws at him and sticks his tongue out mockingly.

"You're the worse, you know it's not like that…"

"Eugeo, we've known each other for years. Trust me, I'm _sure_ it is like that."

Eugeo opens up his mouth to protest once again, but something seemingly catches his attention. Kazuto follows his line of sight and his gaze lands on the news channel that was playing on the TV.

Upon reading the headline, his eyes narrow.

**-New victim: The Throat Slitter strikes again-**

It seems him and Eugeo share the same thought, as the latter picks up the remote and turns the volume up. They watch attentively as the reporter informs of the latest case.

"… It has been confirmed by the police that a body was found in a dumpster this past Wednesday. While no further details have been given, it is known that the victim was a female in her late twenties. The police has refused to give any statements, but according to some sources, the corpse was completely wrapped up in trash bags. Blood loss caused by a slit throat was the cause of death. This is the fourth case with the exact same traits in the past 5 months. Locals believe this case is connected to the other three, and have nicknamed the culprit as 'The Throat Slitter'…"

"Hey, hasn't Klein been working on those 3 other cases?" Eugeo asks, turning his head to face Kazuto.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Kazuto frowns deeply as a pensive expression settles over his face, "I think so… Last time I talked to him, they hadn't made much progress…"

"And now there's another one," Eugeo completes, his own eyebrows furrowing.

"Yeah…" Kazuto sighs.

"I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this…" Eugeo mumbles as he unconsciously scoots closer to Alice.

Kazuto looks at him, worry gnawing at his insides. Fear and trepidation seize his heart, clenching it painfully in his chest. The sudden urge to _protect_ hits him like a wave and leaves him breathless.

' _Protect? Protect_ what _? Don't be silly, this has nothing to do with you…'_

Still, even after trying to reassure himself, he can't seem to shake off the eerie feeling that keeps crawling under his skin.

* * *

_Even though it's only her third time going up there, Asuna feels as though she's already accustomed to the setting of her high school's rooftop. The green floor that extends below her feet and the wire fence that surrounds its perimeter feel familiar, as does the clear blue sky that spreads endlessly overhead and the warm sunlight that shines over her features, like a tender kiss to her cheek. She breathes in the fresh spring air, enjoys the way the soft breeze plays with her skirt and hair, feeling freer than she'd ever felt in her entire life. And she smiles._

_By her side stands Kirito, watching closely as her eyelids fall shut, as she raises her arms to the sky and lets out a small, contented sigh. His eyes soften at the sight, and he follows her lead, taking a deep breath in and burying his hands inside his pockets as a small smile of his own curves up his lips._

_She peeks at him through the corner of her eye and her heart sings. It sings for her, for the happiness and release that flow through her veins, for the utter feeling of bliss that such a simple moment carries. But it also sings for him, for the way his dark hair blows softly in the wind and his onyx eyes stare off into the distance, for how he is so effortlessly handsome when he smiles._

'This feeling… This feeling right here, I want to cherish it forever' _she thinks,_ wishes _deep inside her heart, wanting nothing more than to freeze the moment, to frame it and hang it in the depths of her eyes, so that anyone who looked closely enough could see._

_She'd been holding back so much, trying to be someone she wasn't, desperate to indulge her mother's fantasies. So much so that she thinks she forgot how to live and how to feel. How to enjoy the simpler things in life. When was the last time she stood outside and appreciated the warm weather? The last time she sat down and simply enjoyed the sound of the rain as it fell against the window? And the last time she stopped for a moment and just relished in her existence?_

_Asuna couldn't find the answers to those questions. Perhaps it was too long ago, or maybe it just never happened. She couldn't really tell. She'd spent so long pretending to be the perfect daughter that she eventually forgot how to be herself. How to be the_ real _Asuna Yuuki._

_As she turns to fully face him, she feels thankful. This is only her second encounter with him, and yet, he's already offered her an escape from the forged world she encaged herself in. Twice. And she thinks he doesn't even realize it. Because he doesn't know her and doesn't expect anything from her, so she doesn't need to pretend. Around him, things seem so much easier and simpler._

_"Thank you," she speaks without even realizing it. His head snaps to look at her in confusion, but she just smiles because she truly means it._

_"For what?" he asks as curiosity gets the best of him._

_"For everything. For comforting me the other day, even though you had no idea who I was. For letting me stay here," she says, hoping he can see through her eyes how important his kind gestures were, "And for today… For coming to look for me and…"_

'And rescuing me, even though I didn't even know I needed it' _she completes her sentence in her mind, feeling self-conscious enough to be unable to say it out loud._

_Kirito's cheeks flush as he tears his gaze from hers and coughs softly to the side._

_"Well, uh… You kind of stole my line there. I went to find you because I wanted to thank you too… For the cookies you left for me the other day… They tasted really good," he says while burying his hands deeper inside his pockets._

_Her smile widens, "I'm glad you liked them."_

_They fall silent after that, him shifting awkwardly on his feet and her arranging her skirt with inept fingers, both looking off to the buildings surrounding their school._

_Asuna's not sure what else to say. She highly doubts he only came looking for her to thank her for her gift, but she can't find it in herself to question further._

_Thankfully, she doesn't need to, as his low voice catches her attention once again, "Are you okay, though?" he asks, so quietly that she's certain she wouldn't have heard him if he hadn't been standing relatively close to her._

_"Oh, I… Yeah, I'm feeling much better," she answers, her heart catapulting in her chest at the concern behind his words. It fills her with an unexpected amount of joy to know that he's been worried for her – and has been thinking about their previous encounter, much like she has. "I didn't want to come back here for fear of intruding-"_

_"Not at all!" he cuts her off so fast that she jumps slightly at the suddenness of his words. He also seems surprised at his own outburst, and she watches as he shrinks in on himself, cheeks blooming with a crimson color that was also becoming quite familiar for her. She feels her own cheeks warm up in response. "I mean… I'm not trying to force you to come up here or anything, only if you want. It's just that I'd really like to see you more-" he stops in the middle of his sentence, and his eyes widen comically._

_She bites down the sudden urge to laugh at his expression, and she watches as his eyebrow twitches and his teeth clench. The blush on his cheeks spreads to his ears and neck, and his right hand comes out of his pocket to rub at the back of his head as he lets out a nervous laugh._

_"Did I just say that out loud? Oh God, I must look like a total creep, I swear it's not like tha-"_

_It's her turn to interrupt him instead as she approaches him and lays a hand on his arm. With a soft smile, she feels her own face redden even more._

_"I would really like that too," she mumbles shyly. He looks at her in shock, as if she'd just grown a second head and wasn't aware of it. She meets his gaze with her own, set on showing him the sincerity behind her words._

_The shock on his face finally disappears, replaced by sheer awe. Finally, he smiles and it's like flowers start blooming all over again._

_For the first time in her life she understands, deep inside her heart, why spring is said to be the season of beginnings._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was it! I hope you're enjoying everything so far, because I truly love writing for all of you :3  
> Btw, I'm not sure if you know, but I have an instagram and I very recently created a twitter as well! You can find me on both by my username goddessasutacia!  
> I'm not the most active on instagram, but I'm gonna try to be on twitter, if only to let you guys in on my writing process :) And social media is a much easier way to interact with you and answer any questions you may have regarding Diamond Shards! I'll also be fangirling like CRAZY over Progressive finally getting an anime adaptation! I'm so HYPEEEED, you have no idea, I feel like a child on christmas morning xD  
> On a parting note, I also want to let you know that I'm going back to college in October, so it'll be even harder for me to update regularly :'( I'd like to be able to give you guys at least one chapter per month, but due to my tight schedule, it may be hard... So make sure to follow me on my social media so I can keep you updated :D  
> That's everything for now, thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you guys next time!


	4. Finding You

_White was the butterfly that flew close to her face, flapping its wings gracefully as it spiraled atop the breeze. Asuna's gaze followed its movements attentively, hung up on its every twist and turn, on the way it surfed through the air so smoothly, as though it was so incredibly easy for everyone to do so. For a brief second, she allows herself to wonder if it really was, if she could just get up from her seat and float away with the wind to somewhere far, far away. Despite her attempts to ignore reality and indulge in the sweet fantasy, the awareness that that scenario was all the product of her imagination is quick to catch up to her, and she despises the way her rational side immediately shuts the idea down, as if she were forbidden to have such thoughts. So, she resorts to observing the small insect, envisioning a mental map of all the places it had seen and visited in its short lifetime, adventures told only to the shades of the sky and the quietness of the drift._

_As it starts gliding down, getting closer and closer to her hand, Asuna holds in her breath in bated expectation. Gently, it lands on the knuckle of her forefinger, wings slowing down their movements to a very delicate flutter. She tries her best to stay still, leaning her head down to count out the tiny black dots that sprinkle the white canvas of each wing in a different pattern. She's so focused on it that when her phone pings with the familiar sound of a text message, she flinches in surprise and scares the butterfly away. Her shoulders sag in defeat as it flies off, and she watches as it gets further and further away, until it's nothing more than an invisible spot on the wide sky._

_A disappointed sigh slips past her lips as she reaches for the device, raising it to her face so it would automatically unlock upon recognizing her features._

_**-Hey, where in the world are you? Yuuki and I are about to head home, are you coming along?-** _

" _Crap…" she whispers when she notices the digits on the upper right corner of her phone signal 6:13PM. Considering how late it already was, it came as no surprise that Shino was wondering where in the world she had disappeared off to._

_**-Go on ahead without me. I'll stay here a little longer!-** _

_She rapidly types the response and hits send, before turning the phone face down on the desk and raising her eyes to look at the boy sitting directly across from her. He's hunched over his own desk, his full, undivided attention on the material that lay scattered on top of it as he scribbled away the answer to a math problem. It had become a habit of hers as of late, to watch his concentrated expression as he studies._

_Eyebrows creased in a very light frown, nose crinkled just slightly, lips moving to silently read the words imprinted on white paper sheets and class-books, or to recite to himself the explanation to a certain question he tumbles upon, hands instinctively gesticulating along to conduct more fluent, concise sentences._

_The events that had led to such moments come to her as a blur, nothing more than a passing encounter with awkward words and even more awkward proposals, when she found herself offering to help him study for their midterms after becoming aware of his struggles. Only after the words left her mouth did she realize what exactly she was suggesting, and even though it was too late to backtrack, she foolishly tried to, anyways. After all, they barely knew each other, and she was afraid he'd think she overestimated the boundaries of their relationship, that laid somewhere in between a not-quite-friends yet not-quite-strangers stage. Much to her surprise (and relief), though, he'd cut her off before she could withdraw her offer and promptly accepted it._

_Since then, they'd arranged the rooftop into a proper study place, after coming to a silent agreement that their study sessions would take place there. It wasn't particularly difficult to do so – they only had to find a decent pair of desks and chairs from the pile of furniture that lay abandoned there and position them so they were facing each other. Every day, after their last period or club activities, they'd meet up and study together until around 6PM before going their separate ways to head home._

_Today, however, Asuna felt like stretching their time together for a little bit longer. She couldn't quite put her finger on the motive behind such a sudden need; all she knew was that looking at him brought her a sense of peace she could not explain. He looked so… laid-back. So content. The embodiment of a tranquil harmony that effortlessly made everything seem better… more bearable – even though she was fully aware that he'd also struggled in the past, with his own battles to fight._

_An upside to their study sessions was watching their relationship flourish, slowly but surely as they got to know each other better. She'd been scared that their study environment would be as awkward as she perceived on the day she'd made her proposal, stiff with uncertainty on what to say and how to act. Yet once more, he proved her wrong, and during their breaks, conversation flowed so naturally it was as if they'd known each other for years._

_He told her all there was to know about him, from his fondest memories down to the saddest ones. She knows how he broke his tibia back when he was 7 whilst trying to climb a tree during hide-and-seek, the bone tearing through flesh and skin to poke out entirely. He'd cried, but his little sister had cried even more, and even though she was scared out of her mind, she refused to leave his side as their parents took him to the hospital. He still has a scar on his left leg to this very day. He told her about his best friends, Eugeo and Alice, who were the 2/3 to his whole ever since they were old enough to understand the true meaning behind the word "friendship". She'd laughed and even snorted once or twice (much to her embarrassment) when he shared their past shenanigans; how he used to try and convince Alice to be the damsel in distress so he and Eugeo could be the noble knights who rescued her, only to get his ass handed back to him by said girl and having to play the part himself (he even had to wear a pastel-blue dress and a cute tiara to match as Eugeo and Alice pretended to fight off their enemies to get to him – how outrageous!); or how the three of them dressed up as Alvin and the chipmunks for Halloween once, back on 6th grade, and their classmates mocked them because "those aren't real costumes!" – which he took to heart, because he absolutely loved Alvin and the chipmunks back then, how dare they?!_

_The most shocking confession he made was also the most heartbreaking. After so much laughter and joy and liveliness, she wasn't sure how to approach the sensitive topic of his adoption. Asuna's sure she will never forget it… the day he trusted her enough to tell her his biggest secret._

_He found out when he was 10 years old. He was just a child, and the revelation had been so unsettling he'd tried to cope with it the only way he knew how to: by shutting everyone out. Everyone who deeply cared for him. And that's how he started playing videogames, why he dove into them like a madman, playing and playing and playing until his eyelids could no longer stay open, or until his body screamed at him to rest. This discovery was the reason his relationship with his little sister gravely deteriorated over the years, which he confessed to be his biggest regret. At such a young age, when he couldn't perceive the world as it truly was and refused to understand how his family only wanted what was best for him, he'd felt as though the entire universe had dissolved beneath his feet, the life he'd led until then nothing but a lie._

_Without realizing it, Asuna had leaned over her desk and reached out to him, both of her hands enveloping his, staring earnestly into his eyes and telling him that none of it was his fault. He shouldn't blame himself for it, and most importantly, he shouldn't let himself carry such a heavy burden all on his own. What he had now was the present, and he should make the most of it, no matter what._

_He'd blinked at her slowly, clearly surprised, before a small smile lit up his features. And he admitted, albeit shyly, that he was trying to rebuild what had been lost, with the help of Suguha, who was so incredibly patient and understanding with him. Baby steps, he'd said, and she'd smiled back, happy for him._

_Learning about one another was like reading a book you're fully invested in for the first time. You flip through the pages, eager to find out what happens next, always wanting more because no matter how long or how detailed the book is, it never seems like enough. And each of them was an entire book of their own, with pages and pages to be perused by the other, multiple chapters and genres and adventures slowly unveiled and rediscovered together. As much as he shared, he also listened, genuinely wanting to learn more about her. What was her childhood was like? What did she like to do in her free time? Did she have any pets? ("I feel like you'd have a dog if you could…" he'd said after she confessed her mother wouldn't let her, "But since you can't, then perhaps you have… a fish?" he'd tried to guess, and it was just a simple assumption, yet he somehow got it_ right _– which in turn made her wonder just how well he could read her from listening to her stories alone)._

_Three weeks were not much, she knew that. However, they were more than enough for her to know she wanted to stay by his side for longer, to discover more about him… to help him in whatever way she could, much like he did with her. He made her days better… she wanted to do the same for him._

" _Kirito-kun…" she calls out without even realizing it. Kazuto's pencil immediately stops moving, and he raises his head to focus his attention on her. She has to bite back her giggles when she notices he left half of a word unwritten. "I know this is a bit out of the blue, but… have you thought about what you want to do in the future? You know, the typical question of 'what do you want to be when you grow up'?"_

_He pauses for a moment, before putting his pencil down on is notebook and leaning back against his chair. Crossing his arms over his chest, he lets a pensive expression settle on his face as he presses his lips together in a thin line._

" _Mmm, what I want to do after high school…" he repeats slowly, "I guess I haven't given it as much thought as I probably should have, so I'm not really sure…"_

_Asuna hums, letting her hands fall to her lap as she mimics his posture and leans back against her own chair._

" _Wouldn't you like to become a professional gamer?" she asks, "You're really good at it, after all."_

_Participating in gaming tournaments was something that, according to him, 'just happened'. It was a means to escape from reality, with the prizes as a mere bonus. The money came in handy, and he could immerse himself in his own little world, like he wanted to. Only… that 'little world' ended up becoming bigger than he ever imagined when his popularity started growing. It wasn't just about him anymore, and he even had_ fans _coming to his tournaments to cheer him on (her mind instantly thought of Rika, and she made a mental note of properly introducing them one day. Although, she was a bit reticent regarding said meeting, afraid that her bubbly friend might end up making him uncomfortable in her excitement). Suddenly, what he thought of as his own, became everyone else's too, and he could no longer do it just for himself._

" _I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it before. Gaming is a big part of my life, but… I don't think I want to make a career out of it."_

_She nods in understanding and looks down at her lap, fingers playing with a cotton thread that got loose from her white cardigan, "I see…"_

_A beat of silence passes._

" _What about you?"_

_Her head snaps up to stare at him, mouth slightly agape as he stares right back._

" _Me…?"_

" _Yeah… have you thought about what_ you _want to do in the future?" he inquires again, and she blinks in slight astonishment, because he caught her off guard again and she isn't used to these kinds of questions._

_Has she… thought about it?_

_Most children knew the answer to that question in a heartbeat: a ballerina, a fireman, a policeman, a doctor, a chef, a singer. Whatever the profession, they said it with such certainty it was unquestionable. But her? Whenever people would ask her younger self, she'd proudly say "I want to have good grades!". And at the time, she didn't really get why the inquirers always looked at her weirdly after hearing her answer – all she knew was that_ that _was what her mother wished of her, and even as a child, all she wanted to do was please the older woman. Now, looking back on it, she_ understands _. She never had a dream of her own._

" _I'm… I don't know?" she whispers, "I don't think I ever thought about it. Maybe because I've gotten used to letting my mother decide what she wants of me? I rarely have a say in the matter, and she doesn't really care about what I want."_

_There she goes again. Confiding in him so easily it almost frightened her. How was he able to make her share her deepest thoughts just like that? Was it truly possible to form this sort of connection so quickly? She wants to find out._

" _And what is it that you want?" he asks gently, pushing away from his chair to rest his elbows on his desk and lean slightly closer to her._

_He's looking at her with all the patience in the world, encouraging her to take her time and search the answer to his question within herself._

_This was the first time anyone has ever asked her what she wants, and her heart crawls up to her throat, begging to spill itself out with no filters. For once, she allowed herself to follow its lead, to let it take over her mind._

" _I want… to make people happy." She answers simply. Kazuto's lips start pulling up in a smile, but he doesn't say anything, letting her think some more before proceeding, "I want to help them, no matter who they are or where they come from or what their social status is. I want to change their lives for the better…" Taking in a deep breath, she finishes, "But above all, I want to have a say in my own life… in my own future."_

_She says it with such conviction that she herself believes it, confident that she can do it, that she can finally stand up for herself and her decisions._

_Turning her gaze up to meet his again, she isn't at all prepared for the way her heart leaps inside of her chest at the sight before her. He looks at her with the widest grin she'd ever seen, eyes shining with pride and an affection she feels down to her bones. Kazuto gets up, walks over to her and gets down on one knee, gently picking up one of her hands from her lap and engulfing it in his larger one. She sucks in a breath at the sudden contact, and feels heat rush up to her cheeks when his thumb starts running over her knuckles delicately._

" _That's right," he says, voice so very soft it makes the butterflies within her stomach flap their wings wildly, "You should always follow your heart. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise – not your mother, not your friends, not_ anyone _. Your life is yours to live, and no one else's."_

_She remembers he once said he thinks he's the kind of person who doesn't truly understand how others feel. Oh, how incredibly wrong he'd been. No one could understand others' feelings as well as he did. He cares, he cares_ so much _– maybe even too much sometimes, and she can tell he'd switch places with those who are important to him in the blink of an eye, if it meant they would no longer suffer. He's considerate, putting himself in other people's shoes so he can see things from their perspective. He's someone_ good _. Did she… deserve such kindness?_

_Only the setting sun stands witness as she pushes her insecurities aside and takes in a deep breath, filling her lungs with courage. And then… she flips her hand upwards, until her palm touches his, fingertips grazing his racing pulse. Her whole face burns, but she doesn't take her eyes off them as she slides her hand up his, until only their digits meet, before turning it 180 degrees and connecting their hands again, palms and fingers aligned with each other's. His hand is much bigger than hers, rougher too, but warm beyond belief. She feels everything – every line that twists and turns in the shape of his fingerprints, the small bump on the inner side of his middle finger (a writer's callus, she can tell), the heat that radiates from his skin and seeps into her own._

_Asuna doesn't realize she's holding her breath, but she notices he's holding his. He stares at their connected hands too, seemingly in awe, and she reluctantly moves, spreading her fingers apart and slipping them in between his. Their knuckles brush, and when he folds his fingers and locks their hands together, the feeling is exhilarating._

_Onyx and hazel meet at last, and she has to swallow dryly, unable to utter a single word. Under the orange hues of the late afternoon sky, Kazuto looks nothing short of ethereal. Tousled locks, flushed cheeks, parted lips… tender eyes. He was the peace and serenity of a quiet evening, but also the energy and liveliness of a busy morning._

" _Thank you, Kirito-kun." She breathes after a few moments, when she regains the ability to speak once more._

_He nods lightly and offers her a boyish smile._

" _You're welcome, Asuna."_

* * *

Bringing one hand up to cover her mouth, Asuna lets out a small yawn as she walks down the familiar corridors of the hospital with heavy steps.

It's been a week since she last heard from Yuuki, after she left her apartment in a hurry due to the urgent and unsettling call. Since then, she's barely gotten a wink of sleep.

From fully immersing into her shifts at the hospital, to exercising and cooking in her free hours, none of said activities were enough to tire her out in the way she hoped they would. When nighttime finally came and she lay her head down on her pillow, praying for the blessing of a deep slumber, she'd find herself despondently turning and shifting around her in her mattress every single time, her eyes refusing to fall shut for longer than five minutes at most. She'd begrudgingly get up, brew a cup of chamomile tea, grab one of the many books stored in her bookshelf and sit down on her velvet long chaise, near the large windows on her bedroom that overlooked the city lights. She'd read and read, and sometimes even finish the book just as the sky turned into a soft pink and indigo palette, the first shy rays of light peeking through the horizon.

Most certainly, having Yuuki's case broadcasted all over the news did not help her in the slightest. Asuna wanted to give her a call, knowing that her petite friend's surely overworking herself to get leads on the most recent murder. But the reason she wants to call is also the reason why she shouldn't. She doesn't want to distract her.

She would've liked to say the lack of sleep was exclusively due to her constant worrying over Yuuki. However, she is painfully aware that that was not the sole reason for her predicament, and she could thank a certain raven-haired male for it.

Stopping right outside a set of double doors, she pushes them open and steps inside of the office she shares with three other colleagues.

"Asuna-chan! Good morning!" a brown-haired girl greets, voice cheery as she jumps up from her seat and skips over to her side with a wide grin.

Asuna's lips pull up in a smile, "Good morning, Yuuna-chan."

"Mmm," Yuuna mumbles, moving her head from side to side as she scrutinizes her. Asuna shies away from her scrupulous gaze, taking a tentative step back as Yuuna leans even closer, until they're practically nose to nose. "You have dark circles under your eyes. Have you been sleeping well?"

"Oh, really?" Asuna ponders out loud and Yuuna nods gravely.

That night had been the only one she'd been able to fall asleep – albeit only at 7AM –, and actually rest soundly, so it had been particularly difficult to wake up and get ready for work when her alarm rang a meager hour and a half later. She'd tried her best to conceal the heavy marks of countless restless nights with makeup that morning, but apparently, she'd been unsuccessful.

"Did you think makeup would be able to fool me?" Yuuna probes with a pout, holding Asuna's face between her hands and squishing it until her lips puckered out like a fish's.

"Ofh courshe not, Hyuuna-" she starts, talking through the squeezing of her cheeks to the best of her abilities, when the sound of the door to their on-call room opening interrupts her. Both of them turn their heads to see who it was.

"Leave her be, Yuuna." Eiji says as he walks out, hand slipped inside the hem of his shirt as he scratched his stomach, voice and posture still groggy from sleep. She does a very poor job of concealing her giggles at the sight of his bed hair.

"Eiji, you're up!" Yuuna immediately releases her and walks over to him instead, seemingly forgetting about her as she holds out her hands to grab his face and squish it too. "You have drool on your chin." She states plainly, and Asuna finds great amusement in the way his eyes promptly snap to attention as he frantically wipes at the spot Yuuna pointed out, face reddening in embarrassment.

Asuna takes the opportunity of Yuuna fussing over Eiji, patting down his hair and arranging his shirt while scolding him to take better care of himself, to sneak by them and lock herself in the room.

Her shift doesn't start until half an hour from now, but she always likes to take her time getting dressed and drink a cup of coffee before heading out. So, she goes to her locker and slips her purse inside before getting undressed, slowly folding her clothes as her mind wanders.

Perhaps today, she'll finally be able to sleep through the night. She feels tired, her muscles sore and in terrible need of a proper rest. Not even her old college books, filled with the knowledge she'd acquired over her years of studying and subsequent medical practice, had been able to knock her out.

She had just slipped on her purple scrubs and was in the midst of gathering up her chestnut locks into a ponytail, when her phone rang. Reaching into her purse, she searches for the device, and her eyes widen when she finally finds it and takes a look at the caller's ID. Asuna fumbles for a second, releasing her hair and sliding her finger across the screen to answer the call.

"Sinonon!" she practically shouts into the speaker, "Why, you! Why haven't you been calling?"

"Hey, Asuna!" Shino greets, a hint of remorse to her voice, "Sorry… You know my vacation was a getaway, so I didn't have any electronic devices with me."

"I did _not_ know your vacation was a getaway. Neither did Yuuki." Asuna retorts, shutting her locker.

The line falls silent, before Shino chuckles.

"Guess I forgot to mention that, then?" she says, and Asuna can practically _see_ the bashful smile she must be sporting, which is what eventually makes her crack up too.

"You're lucky I love you." She relents as her final giggles die down, "When did you get back? And how was your vacation?"

Shino perks up with a cute squeak, "I got back just a few hours ago! And it was _amazing_." She says, pausing for a moment to talk back to someone on the other side of the line before continuing, "I can't wait to meet up with you and Yuuki and tell you all about it!"

"I can't wait either!" Asuna answers, excitement bubbling up in her chest at Shino's own elation. Propping her phone between her shoulder and her face, she uses both of her hands to climb up to the top of the bunk bed closest to the door, laying down on her designated mattress.

"Speaking of which, I tried calling Yuuki too, but she didn't answer…" Shino comments off-handedly. Asuna can hear her shuffling around, probably busy with unpacking.

"Oh, yeah…" the happy mood becomes somber in the blink of an eye, "Yuuki's been really busy lately…"

Asuna proceeds to fill Shino in on everything that happened while she was gone, purposely leaving out her reencounter with Kazuto. That was something she'd rather talk about in person… or maybe, not even that. It's not like she's going to see him again. It had just been a mere coincidence, a cruel prank from fate to see how well she could take it. As it turned out, she couldn't handle it at all.

"I can't believe it happened again while I was gone…" Shino mumbles after she finishes her tale. "I hope Yuuki catches the bastard behind these murders…"

"Yeah…" Asuna nods, even though she knows Shino can't see her, "So do I-"

"Dr. Yuuki!"

The door to the on-call room bursts open with a loud bang, hitting the lockers that were up against the wall behind it. Asuna jumps up from the bed, startled.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you before your shift starts, but there's someone in the emergency room asking for you!" Keiko informs urgently, eyes wide and a thin sheen of sweat glistening on her brow, undoubtedly from running all the way up there.

"Hang on just a second, Sinonon-" Asuna says, before covering the speaker with her other hand and turning to face the small nurse, "What? They asked for me specifically? Is it someone I know?"

"Yes! Two inspectors came in, one of them got shot-"

"Inspectors?!" she cries out, her heartbeat speeding up until it was nothing but a loud drum in her ears. There was only one inspector she knew that would explicitly ask for her in this hospital. And the image of a weak, bloodied Yuuki lying down on a bed in the emergency room, arm limply hanging from it as blood dripped down her fingers and onto the white tiles of the floor, is enough to have bile crawling up her throat.

"S-Sinonon, I'll have to call you back later, okay?" she hurriedly says, hopping off the bed with no regard for the set of stairs at the side of it. She barely registers Shino's 'okay!' before hanging up, her mind a fumbled mess as she storms out of the room, grabs her white coat from the coat rack near the double doors of the office and rushes to the emergency room.

* * *

Files, files and more files. If there was one thing Kazuto absolutely loathed about his job, was having to organize them. And lately, that was all he seemed to do.

No matter how long he spent sorting them out and storing them in their respective places, or how keen of an eye he had to instantly know which was what, it always looked like the pile on top of his desk remained the exact same size.

With a sigh, he picks up yet another bundle of folders, bound together with a well-worn rubber band that was just at the brink of its stretching capability, so much so he was sure it would snap in half if he didn't handle it with care.

Outside of his office, he can hear a commotion, multiple voices overlapping with the sound of clinking dishware and glass. He closes his eyes and rubs his temples for a few moments, trying to filter the noise out, though to little avail. Giggles and shouts carry on, along with a soft background music that was barely audible over his loud colleagues. In the end, he gives up on his futile attempt to ignore it and blinks his eyes open again, turning his attention back to his previous task. Picking up the bundle of folders once more, he cautiously tries to roll the rubber band down the brown covers. However, a sudden bout of laughter surprises him and he ends up pulling the band too hard. It snaps, just like he'd predicted, and whacks the back of his hand with a sharp crack.

Kazuto hisses, the abused skin reddening at the contact, with a deep crimson bruise blossoming in the shape of the offending object. Cradling his injured hand against his chest and rubbing it soothingly to subdue the throbbing, he leans back against his chair and chews down on his bottom lip. The ruckus outside continues, and he strains his ears to try and listen in on whatever they're saying. But, as if on cue, the chatter dies down and he grunts in frustration.

"I guess a little break won't hurt…" he mumbles, finally letting his curiosity win over and drag him out of his chair.

He was just about to grasp the knob and pull the door open, a question of "what's all the noise about?" at the tip of his tongue, when someone beats him to it. Blinking in confusion, it takes his brain a full second to register the knocking coming from the other side of the door. Kazuto quickly opens it, raising an eyebrow at the shorter girl standing before him.

"Senpai!" Ronye smiles radiantly, "Sortiliena-senpai bought honey pies on her way to the office! She asked me to come get you so you could eat them too!"

"Honey pies?!" he exclaims, his interest piqued and his stomach grumbling in excitement. He was just about to take off in search of the precious sweets, when a certain part of her statement sinks in and makes his mouth fall open in shock, "Wait- _Liena-senpai_ did?!"

"Don't sound so surprised, Kazuto!" a voice comes from down the hall. He closes the door behind him and signals with his head for Ronye to follow after him.

"I never thought the day would come when I'd be eating honey pies that _you_ paid for, senpai!" he laughs, plopping down on the couch next to Eugeo and reaching out for the treats arranged in a large box on top of the coffee table. His hand goes to grab one, but Liena leans forward and swats it away. The slap hits right where he'd gotten hit by the rubber band, and he lets out a small groan.

"You make it sound like I never buy you guys anything." She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest with a glare.

"That's because you don't-" he starts saying, but stops when her glare intensifies, "I-I mean, it's a great honor to eat these delicacies brought to us by the one and only Sortiliena Serlut-"

"Flattery doesn't suit you," Liena interrupts, rolling her eyes, but the hint of a smile on her lips tells him she's trying to hold back her laughter. "Just eat one already."

His lips split into a wide grin as he reaches for the honey pie he'd been aiming for.

"Oh, Kazuto! Glad to see you've joined us!" the booming voice of his other senpai, Golgorosso Balto, comes from behind him. Kazuto has no time to turn around and greet him before the heavy hand of the man connects with his back in a supposed-to-be-affectionate-pat, but really just knocks the air right out of his lungs. He'd raised the pie halfway into his mouth, and he's thankful he hadn't actually bitten into it, otherwise he's sure he would've choked.

"Y-Yeah…" he wheezes, coughing lightly. Eugeo snickers next to him.

"So, did you like going to the court today, Tiese?" his best friend asks, turning to the intern under his care and completely ignoring his efforts to breathe normally again, even as he rasps dramatically by his side.

The red-haired girl's smile stretches even more – and only now does Kazuto realize she's been smiling ever since he got there – and she nods happily.

"Yes! I'm really glad I finally got to accompany you!" she answers, a light tinge of crimson blooming on her cheeks. If due to her excitement or the gentle smile Eugeo was giving her, Kazuto couldn't know.

"I'm sorry the first time you went there was to deliver papers, of all things… I'm sure you'd rather have gone to an actual hearing," Eugeo apologizes with a light laugh and Tiese shakes her head vigorously.

"It's okay! I liked going there anyw-"

The shrill ring of the front desk's telephone cuts her off.

"I'll get it!" Ronye volunteers, getting up from her seat and walking out of the room. Kazuto watches her go, before turning his attention back to Eugeo and Tiese's conversation.

The younger girl talks animatedly, waving her hands around as she goes on and on about how she can't wait to attend one of Eugeo's trials. His childhood friend, in turn, nods along and comments on her expectations every so often, pointing out the things she can look forward to the most.

Kazuto watches the exchange for a bit, before he feels himself spacing out. Tiese and Ronye were both hardworking girls, ever since their first day under his and Eugeo's care. In the morning, they were always the first ones to get there, and in the evening, they refused to leave until everyone else did. One time, he had to work overtime until late at night to finish reviewing some forms, and even though he'd dismissed Ronye for the day before he cooped himself up in his office, he was shocked to find her still at her desk when he got out to head home at around 11PM. No matter how draining or boring a task was, they did it with no complaints. They both gave their absolute best, eager to learn anything and everything he and the others had to teach, and their love and enthusiasm for the profession was something to behold.

"Kazuto-senpai," Ronye calls out to him. He twists his torso to face her as she says, "It's for you."

He suddenly remembers the honey pie still on his hand, cold and uneaten. Curse him for spacing out and forgetting all about it. He swears he feels his heart break a little as he looks between the treat and Ronye for a few moments, pondering if he should take just a bite before leaving to answer the call. Eventually, he decides against it and dejectedly puts it back inside of the box.

"You better not eat mine while I'm gone!" he warns everyone, walking towards the door. "Thank you, Ronye." He says as he passes her by, and she smiles.

When he reaches the front desk, he picks up the handset and brings the receiver to his ear, before pressing the hold button to resume the call, "Kazuto Kirigaya speaking."

"Kazuto, thank God! I've been trying to reach you for ages, what happened to your phone?!" Agil roars into his ear, and he has to draw the phone back a couple of centimeters so he won't burst his eardrum. He doesn't think he's ever heard Agil this worked up before.

"I forgot it when I left home today," he answers, leaning back against the desk, "Did something happen? You wouldn't call me at work for nothin-"

"Klein got shot-"

"Klein got _what_?!" he repeats, jerking away from the desk as if it had burned him.

"I don't know what happened, but his partner called me on his behalf. She had to hang up before she could give me any details other than the hospital he was taken to, but since I'm out of town right now, I can't go."

"I'll go there right now." Kazuto offers hastily, heart dropping into his stomach. No matter how much he bickers with Klein, he's still a precious friend to him, and the thought of the red-haired man getting hurt has him worried sick.

"Thanks, man. He was taken to St. Stacia's Hospital." Agil informs, "I'll try to catch the next train, so I can get there soon."

"Alright. I'll give you a call once I learn more of his condition."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

After bidding his farewells, Kazuto hangs up the call and dashes to his office to grab his coat and briefcase. He has to give a very rushed explanation of what happened to a concerned Eugeo and convince him to stay behind so he could cover for him if needed, before he's out the door and into the elevator, pushing the button to the underground level repeatedly.

As soon as the doors ding back open, he runs to his car and slides into the driver's seat, throwing his belongings to the backseat unceremoniously before slipping on his seatbelt. The drive to the hospital is a tense one, as he prays to all gods that Klein is okay.

* * *

"The next time you scare me like this, I will disown you as my best friend," Asuna scolds Yuuki as she stitches up her partner's wound.

The three of them currently stand in the emergency room. The man, Ryoutarou Tsuboi, whom she learned to be Yuuki's partner, sits on a guarded bed, shirtless and offering his arm for her to see. Asuna stands next to him, attending to his wound, and Yuuki stands off to the side, moving her head around, trying to take a peek at what she's doing.

"I'm sorry, Asuna," she whines in a cute voice, "You're the one person I trust the most… How could I have any other doctor take care of him?"

Asuna stops for a second to narrow her eyes at the female inspector, who shrinks under her gaze.

"Look, it's not my fault you didn't let the nurse explain who had gotten hurt!" Yuuki tries to reason, but realizes she's digging her own grave when her friend narrows her eyes even more. "Okay, fine… I'm sorry I haven't called for days after I left in a hurry that night and I'm sorry that the first time you hear from me since then is under these circumstances…"

The chestnut-haired woman sighs softly, focusing on the man's arm once more as she pierces the thin needle through his skin, "You're right…" she finally relents, gently pulling the thread, "But as soon as I heard 'inspectors', I couldn't help but immediately worry about you."

"I know…" Yuuki says, falling silent afterwards.

Not even half an hour had gone by since Asuna heard the news, running down the multiple flights of stairs at the hospital to get to the emergency ward as quickly as she could. She doesn't remember ever running so fast in her life before, not even during her physical education classes back in her high school days. The truth was, she'd been relieved to find out Yuuki wasn't the one injured, and in her distress, she almost ran over to envelop her in a tight hug. However, once she saw the slightly older male sitting on the bed, clutching his upper arm in pain as blood trickled down the gray sleeve of his shirt, any happiness she'd felt immediately vanished. The fact that her relief came at the price of another hurting made her feel incredibly guilty, and she hated it more than anything. Before she had time to ask anything, Yuuki was already by her side, grabbing her arm and begging her to take a look at her partner, while explaining everything in the process.

As Asuna helped Ryoutarou remove his shirt and subsequently started cleaning his wound, Yuuki filled her in on the details of what had happed. Apparently, they were following a lead – a possible escape route for the murderer. There was a convenience shop nearby the alley where the body had been found, so they went there to ask for their CCTV footage. But while they were talking to the teen working at the time, a robber barged in, gun in hand as he ordered them to stand still and give him all of their money. Things took a turn for the worse when Ryoutarou reached for his badge and the man perceived it as a threatening move, which caused him to shoot blindly in the inspector's general direction. Yuuki took the opportunity of his sudden shock to restrain him, calling for reinforcements. Ryoutarou insisted he didn't need an ambulance – luckily, the bullet had only grazed his arm –, and so, as soon as their backup arrived, Yuuki took it upon herself to force him into her car and drive him to the hospital.

Upon closely inspecting the bullet wound, Asuna had deemed it deep enough to need sutures. Fortunately, it was in no way critic, and as long as he was careful for the next couple of days, he would be completely fine once it healed.

"Is it hurting, Mr. Tsuboi?" Asuna asks, lifting her eyes up from the wound to gauge out the man's reaction.

"Not at all!" he responds, shaking his head no as if to reinforce his statement. He looks down at her and offers her a smile, which she returns with one of her own.

"That's good… it means the anesthesia is working." She murmurs, working on the final stitch. Tying the suture into a surgeon's knot, Asuna picks up the small scissors and cuts the trailing thread, before placing both the scissors and the forceps in the instrument tray. "And it's done! You'll need to be careful with your movements for the next couple of days, at least. We don't want the stitches to bust open. If all goes well, you can come remove them in 10 days."

"Thank you, Dr. Yuuki," Ryoutarou says, picking up his shirt from the mattress and slipping it on carefully. Asuna nods with a smile, turning away from him to put the tray away. She starts filling out the paperwork so he could be discharged, amused at the scolding Yuuki's giving him in the background. Now that she was more at ease, knowing he'll be fine, the brown-haired inspector does not hold back from giving him an earful.

"You're too impulsive, you should've analyzed his body language more closely before doing anything! It was obvious he was anxious, and even the smallest of movements would be enough to trigger him!"

"Uh, Yuuki-san, what happened to letting me off the hook this time around-"

"Klein!" a male's voice calls out from a distance, cutting him off. The sound of heavy strides follows, as the person who shouted runs towards the three of them. "What in the world happened?!"

Asuna's blood turns cold, icy vines crawling up her veins and seizing her heart in a frosty grip.

_That voice…_

Her grip around the pen she's holding loosens, and it falls with a dull thud over the paper sheets. Her stomach churns, completely empty – and only now does she realize she hadn't eaten anything. But it doesn't matter at all, because her stomach refuses to acknowledge it has nothing to spill out and continues to push its acid contents up her esophagus. Her head spins, and she has to flatten her right hand against the metal of the medical trolley cart beside her to keep herself steady.

_That voice… it can't be… There's no way he would…_

Trying to deny it is pointless, because for once in her lifetime, her heart and brain are in agreement as they scream at her that it's _him_. It _has_ to be him – she'd recognize his voice _anywhere_. It's deeper, more manly – but then again, he's grown, of course. She's sure of it, she _saw_ it. And she _knows_ it's him.

It's him, it's him, it's him, it's _him_.

Without even realizing it, tears fill her vision, blurring it to the world around her, and she has to blink multiple times to try and get rid of them. Ultimately, she fails, and a single teardrop rolls down her cheek. She wants to wipe it away with the sleeve of her white coat, but at the same time, she's trying her best to stay still, to not draw his attention to her. But another tear falls, and another, and another, and no matter how hard she tries, they just keep on spilling with every word that tumbles from his mouth and vibration from the deep rumble of his voice.

A raging conflict erupts within her, part of her telling her to escape, to leave quietly before he realizes she's there. She'd seen how he'd reacted at the restaurant, and she didn't want a repeat of the tragic memory. Yet, another part of her vehemently refuses, doesn't let her move an inch because she wants to see him. God, she wants to see him _so badly_.

He's there, right there behind her, worrying over 'Klein' – who she assumes to be Ryoutarou – and asking what happened, if it was anything serious, if he was going to be okay. And Yuuki is deadly quiet, and Ryoutarou is laughing and telling him he's fine, and she's slowly breaking apart a mere meter away from him. It's too much for her senses and too much for her heart.

Destiny, she thinks, works in funny ways. Because then, he stops fussing over Klein and she can feel him turning in her direction.

"Thank you for taking care of my… friend…" he trails off, voice choking at the last word, and she knows. She knows and so does he.

Her heart leaps in her chest. In excitement? Fear? Disbelief? She couldn't know. Perhaps, it was a cocktail of all those emotions, and more. They overlap over one another, and she has no way of knowing which speaks louder to her, which she should hold onto to stay sane.

She quickly tries to wipe away the tears on her face with her sleeves. And then, in stark contrast, she forces her feet to _move_ , to take slow, wobbly steps as she turns her body around to face him.

Asuna was already entirely aware of his presence, so when her eyes land on him, it shouldn't come as a surprise. But it is, because looking at him is like finding out all over again, a whole new experience all in itself.

His eyes are wide as he stares at her, and she's sure the shock on his face is mirrored into her own.

Now, up close, she's finally able to _see_ him. He's still handsome, but in a way that is different than that of her memories. The boyish traces of his face were erased with the years, replaced by sharper lines and stronger features. Sharp jawline and captivating onyx eyes, the same as she remembers, only…

He seems to snap out of it much quicker than she does. Forcing an impassive mask onto his face, he stares at her with indifference, pressing his lips into a tight line that shuts down any emotion he may be feeling.

Her heart breaks all over again.

"Kirito-kun…" she's the first to break the tense silence, her voice unrecognizable to her own ears.

Fear. That's the emotion that eventually wins over, trampling over all the others and crushing her heart in a vice-like grip.

She'd always found comfort in the way he called out her name. To her, it felt right, it felt invigorating, it felt like _home_. As if she'd been waiting for him to say it her whole life. And to him… she couldn't quite explain it, but the way he said it… it was so careful, so _delicate_ , as if her sheer name was light, precious and sacred and _beautiful_.

But now…

"Asuna." He retorts, after what feels like decades of silence, his posture closed off and distant. Unreachable.

Now, her name was darkness, dull and rotten and _hideous_.

* * *

_To Asuna, the last midterm always brought with it a joy that only she could describe. It was freedom, in every sense of the word – a sense of accomplishment that was, quite possibly, the best she'd ever felt. She believes she did well on all of her midterms, and the cherry on top of the cake was that they were all over and done with._

_As she stepped out of the classroom, hands grasping the straps of her leather backpack, it was all she could do not to skip happily down the halls._

" _This… was the worst exam of my life…" Rika sulks by her side, dragging her feet on the floor sluggishly._

_Asuna stops in her tracks and turns her head to look at her friend, feeling slightly sorry for the freckled girl. In her happiness, she almost forgot that not everyone shares her views regarding the last exam… or any of the others, for that matter._

" _Come on, Rika, it wasn't that bad." Shino reassures, patting their friend on the back. Rika hunches over even more, shoulders sagging and hands hanging limply at her sides._

" _Nah, she's right, it was awful-" Yuuki starts saying, although much more nonchalantly than their sullen companion, and Asuna has to signal her to stop talking before Rika got even more depressed._

" _On the bright side… we won't have to cram anymore," Asuna tries to lift up her spirits, though to no avail. Racking her brain for anything else she could use to cheer her up, she rejoices when a light bulb lights up in her mind and gives her the perfect idea. With a wide smile, she approaches said girl and links their arms together, tilting her head down so she could lock eyes with her, "And on an even brighter note… how about we go get ice cream to forget all about it?"_

_Much to her delight, Rika finally perks up a bit, straightening her posture just slightly, "Ice cream, you say?"_

_Asuna nods._

" _Can we go to Blue Rose's?" She asks, and Asuna nods again. "Well, then what are we waiting for?! Let's go!"_

_Rika does a complete 180, happy at the prospect of being able to drown her sorrows with spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream. Asuna giggles when she grabs her hand and starts dragging her hurriedly down the hallways, Shino and Yuuki right at their heels as the four of them giddily find their way out of the building._

_In the midst of the thrilling rush of finally escaping school and leaving behind the nerve-wracking midterms for good, Asuna spots a familiar head of raven hair in the crowd of students shuffling to get out through the gates._

_Kazuto's head moves from side to side, scanning everyone that passed by as if he was searching for something – or_ someone _. She feels compelled to raise her hand and wave at him, but fights off the urge to do so, afraid she might look pretentious, thinking that he was looking for her. In the end, just as she and the girls are about to be swallowed by the busy streets and completely disappear from his sight, he spots her._

_His eyes widen – and she realizes that he really_ was _looking for her. Her smile comes spontaneously, as all things do with him, instinctual and effortless. The warmth that crawls up her cheeks is the same too, and her chest thumps with elation._

_He beams, offering her one of his dazzling grins in return and, contrary to her, blatantly raises his arm high in the air and gives her a thumbs up. She can tell it means his midterms went well, and an unexpected sense of relief and pride washes over her as her smile widens._

_Kazuto then drops his arm and fumbles around for something on his pockets, shoving his hands into them until he finds what he was looking for. Fishing out his phone, he waves it at her and points at it vigorously, before pointing at her too. She gets the message and nods twice, before Rika pulls her into the wave of bodies that hurriedly walk by._

_Only when she gets to the ice cream parlor does she get the chance to sit down and take her phone out from her backpack. And just like he'd wildly gestured, she has an unread text message from him._

_**-How did your exams go? Mine actually went pretty well, and I have you to thank for. So I was thinking… maybe, if you have some free time this weekend, I could properly thank you with some cake and a cup of tea? Does that sound good to you?-** _

_Asuna rubs her eyes and rereads the message over and over again, to make sure she isn't dreaming. It feels too much like she is. But indeed, after carefully analyzing each word separately for lord knows how long, and having her friends impatiently call out to her so she'd come and order, she finally comes to the conclusion that it isn't a dream. The words are still there, unchanging, clearly displayed on her phone screen. There is no 'oops, my bad, this was meant for someone else!' and no mysterious vanishing of the text message. It was there. It was_ real _._

_A small squeak comes from somewhere within her, and her hand flies up to her mouth in disbelief and embarrassment. Before she knows it, her heart is soaring high, higher than it ever did, and her mind is a jumbled mess of 'oh God, how should I reply?' and 'Is this… a date?'. She can't get neither to calm down, and every reply she types out makes no sense whatsoever because she cannot for the life of her think straight._

_After countless rounds of typing out a testament and deleting it right after, she's finally able to settle on something that actually makes sense and is short enough to guarantee she won't make a fool out of herself. And she does so just in time, hitting send right before Yuuki pops up next to her and forces her out of her seat and towards the counter._

_**-It sounds wonderful! Where should we meet? And at what time?-** _

_Weekend cannot come fast enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm- No amount of apologizing can make up for taking this long to update :') It's been five months, I can't believe it...
> 
> While college did play a huge part on my lack of updates, I must also admit my writing muse got more inclined to my other fic, Sinful Grace xD
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was a wild ride to write, but I think it turned out well in the end? Hopefully? Do let me know what you thought! Also, make sure to follow me on Twitter (if you have an account)! I'm pretty active over there, and I keep you guys updated on how my writing is going! You can find me there by my username, goddessasutacia :)


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